Another Doomworld Exodos Tale

I've been troubled by events at Doomworld I experienced a while back, which I'm sure is a rather familiar story on this board. I got into a heated discussion once, over a topic that I feel matters to me within gaming. My guiding compass has always been that I love, open, honest discussions, even if they can be controversial, but that it's perfectly okay to have completely contradictory positions and opinions to me. If we disagree, it shouldn't have to reflect on people's character personally. I don't often make a habit of starting flame wars, and in fact in this particular instance I had no idea one would even erupt. I made an off-hand comment to somebody else, and a third party took great personal offense to that smaller remark in a larger post. He attacked my character. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I tried to explain or scaffold my position with some more context, but it became increasingly clear he wasn't interested in a discussion or a clarification, but a contrition. Anything less than an apology for daring to voice a critical, negative opinion would not be acceptable to him. To that, I naturally replied, sorry, but you're not getting one. If I have to self-censor every thought I ever had out of fear that anybody anywhere might possible take great offense to that, I or anybody else couldn't ever really say anything and the world would totally be sterile. Ironically, that was the last post I made before getting temporarily banned by a mod, on the outlandish grounds of "anti-social behavior."

I was quite angry at that, as I had never received even a warning, and I've had no troubles on the site in the past. At some point after the ban expired, out of morbid curiosity, I returned to the site. I thought, perhaps I had come across as meaner or overly argumentative than I meant to. Perhaps I was in error and too caught up in the spirit of the moment to recognize it. Literally the very first topic I see, locked, is about some Youtuber whining over a rude Youtube comment (Gasp, who could've ever guessed those exist?) In actuality, the comment in question hardly seemed all that rude. It was a little elitist for sure, ("You're playing the game wrong!") but ultimately rather harmless. The sort of thing just best ignored and moved on from. Yet, on Doomworld there were a chorus of voices, some even familiar names of people I've liked and interacted with positively in the past, who absolutely piled on this no-name Youtube commenter. The original accusation was that this fellow was being "too mean," but apparently the vitriolic mob replying seemed to lack the self-awareness that they were being far, far meaner in response. Disagreements over opinions were being met with a long laundry list of childish, personal attacks.

There was no better confirmation that yea, "It's not me, it's you."

All that said, I don't hate Doomworld, not at all. I still feel it has great value, particularly when it comes to getting useful information on mapping, or help with technical details. It's a great place to discover new maps and mods. Aesthetically, it's a very nice looking website. The Cacowards are important. From that perspective it remains a great resource.

But the majority of discussions are totally inane, toothless, tepid, and boring, because anything else could be considered offensive and worthy of censorship. The worst kind of censorship is not the bans, it's self-censorship. It's the feeling that I have to think twice about everything I might want to express, no matter how seemingly benign, because I can't know what somebody might take the wrong way.

And it sucks, because for a while, Doom, which is one of, if not my all time favorite game, was kind of ruined for me. Video games used to be a source of relief from other people, from stress, and now they're becoming the source of stress and aggravation.  I had to avoid playing the game because it would revive ugly memories of this distasteful experience. I had a certain faith and trust in the strength of this community, and it was shattered that day. Even when I could go back, I don't really ever want to now.

I need to get this off my chest, because that loss of faith or innocence bothers me far more than whatever the initial argument was over. I didn't really want to be here, on DoomerBoards. I don't want to be a pariah or an outcast. And like I said earlier, I still love the great resources DoomWorld offers. It remains the most popular fan site, and with some good reason.

But I also want an outlet that respects the rights of its users, where I can feel liberated to freely speak my mind (within reason of course) and not have to worry about mob justice.

As a side note, I only discovered "Zeppelin Armada" by joining this site, so in a way there is a sort of blessing in this whole affair. It's rather unfortunate and petty that such an impressive mod is to be ignored and unappreciated on Doomworld over insider politics or drama.

If you were kind enough to read my story all the way through, I thank you for your time. I love this awesome game too much to quit. They can't and they won't take it away from me. Looks like I've found a new home for my Dooming from now on. Cheers.