Random

Essential English #069:

Name it "Taggy"; after Flynne Taggart... then we can have dogs with the same name. ;P

btw what is this? A musicbox that plays notes you feed into it??

Well, I met with her on Thursday. And almost three years to the day after I first started talking to her, my girlfriend and I have ended our relationship.

The crazy thing though is how easy the breakup was for both of us. You can tell that neither of us really wanted to, but we both understood that we needed to.

Nobody was made to feel guilty, and neither felt that the other was at fault. She kept apologizing, and I just kept reassuring her that this was not a situation which warranted an apology from either party. The phrase, "We aren't bad, we're just different." was uttered a handful of times throughout the hour long conversation.

We are both very much anchored in our respective cultural practices, and neither of us are able to make the sacrifices necessary for a more harmonious relationship.

I have nothing bad to say about her. I hope the absolute best for her, and hope that one day she finds somebody who will be able to share in her cultural practices (she is Mexican). She is a great person and deserves a partner who will be able to give her the life that she wants for herself and her future children. Much like I deserve the same in regard to the culture that I have grown accustomed to.

The actual breakup happened within two minutes of her sitting down, with me being the one to say it first.  When she sat down, she said, "Hey..." and I returned the salutation.  Then I said, "Well, we have some stuff to talk about.  You can start."  She said that she didn't know how or really what to say.  So I took the wheel and said, "Well, this will be the easiest breakup I think anyone's ever heard of.  Won't it?" She was caught off guard by the statement, but was thankful that she wasn't the one who had to say it.

The remainder of the hour was us laughing off how we should have known this would be the outcome much earlier on that this, but that is speaks a lot about our character, how long we fought through it. Then we watched a funny youtube video, finished our coffees, I walked her to her car, hugged her goodbye for the final time, we wished each other the best of luck in our future endeavors and she said that I will be a great cop someday, I opened her door for her, and we went on our respective ways.

All things considered, being with her was one of the best things that has ever happened to me...but so was breaking up with her. The last three years together taught us both so much about ourselves, exposed us both to unfamiliar cultures therefore broadening our cultural experiences, and I regret absolutely nothing, including the breakup. As a "free man" now, I can focus 100% of my energy on me. Namely, continuing my weight loss/strength training journey. Only now I can focus much more on that.  And as my friend "M" put it, "Dude, at the rate you're going, you'll find someone who fits you better in no time.  Maybe you'll find a chick that's a headbanging horror junky like you!"  She's a cool chick.  She always knows what to say to make situations better.  But being honest with myself, I am in no rush to find a "replacement" relationship.  I think I'd be fine flying it solo for a while, wait until I am closer to being a police officer before I try to burden another person with my life, haha.

To those that wished me luck, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. But don't feel bad for me. You guys wished me luck, and I truly believe that this was the best thing that could have happened. To continue the relationship at this juncture, each of us constantly feeling obligated to sacrifice parts of ourselves for the sake of the relationship, would have been very unhealthy and unfair to us both.

This really was the best possible outcome.

After this, I met up with "M" at a chicken wing joint and had a couple glasses of a delicious beer and ten hot wings with the hottest sauce I have ever tasted. It was great. It tips the scales at 300,000 scoville units (60 times hotter than a Jalepeno pepper!) and was everything I could have ever hoped it was.

Thank you, 40oz. But "M" was my friend that I went and hung out with after the breakup with "L". "L" was my girlfriend.

But yeah, good things don't have to end badly. We thanked each other for the great experience and left friendly. Hell, we even told each other that there will always be a special place in our hearts for each other. There was not a single shred of negativity throughout the whole ordeal!

Thank you for your kind words, friend.

Sometimes you have to take your medicine, and it doesn't always taste good. But if you don't take it, you won't get better.

You see this dude here third from the left? That’s Denilson, and he gave me my wife at our wedding and is one of the best friends and wisest men I have met in my life.

He died two days ago at the criminally young age of 46. He died doing what he loved in his profession as an agricultural and environmental engineer out in Cuiaba in Mato Grosso, Brasil. As he was travelling in the highways of the rural areas out there, a truck collected him on the way around a corner. Viewing the wreckage of his car, I can only take comfort in the fact that it would’ve been over quickly and he didn’t suffer. Love u bro, you taught a lot of people over many different places in the world and I’m very blessed to have known you. Vai com Deus Tio!

I'm really sorry to hear that glenzinho

Damn Glen, I'm really sorry for your loss mate.. I hope that you pull through and that his family finds peace and are able to stay strong.

Thanks good brothers, means a lot. We hadn’t spoke a lot in recent years as he moved back to Brazil from Melbourne in 2013, and whenever we were there he was on the other side of the country. I reached out to him a couple of months back on messenger and told him that we missed him and loved him and we spoke briefly afterwards, but my wife didn’t take the time to catch up so she’s feeling it more. She keeps getting up every morning and checking his Facebook profile in disbelief. Life is short peoples, too short for bullshit so enjoy what you can however you can when you can.

edit: I’ve just been looking at his profile and it seems all of us who knew Dê, this includes Brazilians, Aussies, Indians, Malaysians, etc feel much the same way about him. He was everyone’s wise uncle and he is missed, but we will carry on because I know he’d be here calling me a motherfucker for not carrying on haha

I'm also sorry to hear that, Glen. Life is indeed too short for many.