Doomer Boards Mad Libs

Cooking With Mermaids

Here is a recipe for Kraken eggs, from Tim Willits' Underwater Kitchen. (Serves 1993)

Ingredients:
• 1 Jellyfish-brained egg, stolen from a giant Kraken
• 4 Toaster-spoons Lumpsucker milk (fresh if possible)
• 3 John Romero's Bath Water-spoons squid ink
• 128 sea urchins (for garnish)

Directions:
Satisfy the first three ingredients. Beat Crappily until the mixture turns Periwinkle and frothy, about 1337 minutes. Using a pastry Dookie, pipe Suffering portions of egg batter into a Retarded tide pool. Allow the Chainsaws to cook for four minutes, Swimming them in a net as you go. Serve alongside the Wiggly urchins. Season with Dome of D'Sparil water, to taste.