Doomer Boards Mad Libs

Undead Classified Ads


 Are you a niggardly (no relation to racial words) vampire, zombie, mummy, or ghoul in need of that special something? Look no further than the New Undead Times classified ads, where you'll find all the Agricultures your evil heart desires.
Skeleton Seeks Single, Bony Chandelier : Male skeleton seeking a Grotesque, easygoing, and Appendix-loving lady skeleton to wine and dine. Must have all 666 bones intact. Those with Ghetto personalities preferred.
Coffin for Sale! Perfect Condition. Used for only two centuries. Great for a bedroom, basement, or Doomer Boards. Contact Count 40oz for details. Good inquiries only.
Zombie Puppies for Adoption: These Lazy, little creatures might tear up your favorite pair of Beastshits, foam at the Cochlea, or try to turn you into a mat, but who cares! They're just too Wet to pass up.

THE WORST SCI-FI NIGHTMARE I EVER HAD OMG!

I had a dream last night that a mad DJ was trying to perform experiments on me. He took a strand of my Cacodemon's Cloaca and looked at it under a microscope. Then he told me to sit in his Menacing chair. But I was scared--there were a bunch of electrical Jars tied to it, and I was afraid he was going to Defenestrate me in it! I said, "No, thanks, you Sexy scientist--I'm not sitting on that Aging. Let me out of here!" He looked me right in the Toenails and said, "Don't you dare try to leave my dungeon! You can't Chase--the door's locked!" Suddenly, he pounced on me, and everything turned to shitty Pantone 448C brown. I woke up with Stomach Acid running down my temples. Thank Cod that nightmare is over. I hope I never see that Refrigerated scientist again!