The unsolicited ad VICE thread

Where and how do I even start replying to this...

Sounds interesting

VICE Please only offer advice if it is requested.

You can technically live a happy life alone.
But you can't make that case that it wouldn't be better if you weren't alone.
In fact, ideally, if you feel happy on your own, that's how you know you're ready for connection.
And life is plain better when you realize your masculine potential.

Re: points 1,2 I get that you may be an outlier in that sense.
I have no idea how you ended up thinking a part of you is disgusting, but I wish you best of luck in accepting your own masculinity.
What I said is true and if you look into anatomy, neurology and psychology even on a surface level, you'll be able to see what I meant.
Why does it not work for you? I don't want to make more assumptions, I don't know you and frankly don't need to. You do you, I was offering a different way to look at this subject because I've seen people in a similar state and was nearly there myself when I was in my late teens, and I know this phenomenon only gets worse as tech improves.

Re 3, I didn't say it removed the desire, I said it's a temporary, habit-forming solution that makes the problem worse long term. The example you brought up supports what I said.

Re 4, I've been meditating regularly for over a decade, self love is not foreign to me, and as I mentioned, I think it's the foundation for any other love. Meanwhile, you are the dude who says he thinks his balls are gross and treats his masculinity as a burden and a chore. Do you know what a projection is?

I said my piece of unprompted boomer advice.
You do whatever you want, it's your life to FAFO.

Edit: For posterity, I didn't say you have an addiction, btw, I left you the benefit of the doubt about that.
I meant that engaging in that behaviour re-inforces the likelihood that you'll continue internalizing that attitude and doing that rather than finding a mate. It will also make real women seem less attractive to you the more you do it.

So what, even just the fact that you consider my lack of interest in romantic relationships a flaw is already bad enough. Peak boomer energy. 

Could you write this in, uhm, easier English? I'm dumb and I can't fully understand what you asked here. 

I think you're looking at the phrase "better life" as a separate category. This isn't a competition.
My statement was about quantity of good, not quality.

Relationships enrich your life, making it better than it would be without them.

Someone could be alone and have a better life than someone else who has a relationship, obviously.
But it's also the general case that the first one would have their life improve even more were they to find a good relationship.


The more you love yourself, the easier it is to connect to others. Connection is something in life you can enjoy. I didn't use the word "need" btw, that's your own idea about it. If someone has a "need" for connection and supplants it with more self-love, genuine or not, that is a cope.



Am actually a 30y/o millenial that opted out of social media and digital degeneracy.
You're right, I don't understand the full extent of the problem zoomers face, nor did I claim to.
I do know how the brain and body work far more than most people, even many proffessionals, I also know how these in turn affect your self-concept and beliefs, and how they are affected by various epigenetic factors and activities.

In your generation, porn is more stimulating, prevalent, acceptable and normalized than it was in mine, but that does not disqualify what I said.

You know what else is more prevalent, acceptable and normalized? Young men being alone.
I can say with confidence that it's causation and not just correlation.


Ah yes, a post essentially saying modern problems are not natural problems, that it's best to just take personal responsibility and mentioning a tested, proven, actionable item you can start with that happens to align with how humanity has operated for 99.99% of its existence? How dreadful. D:


From experience.
It probably sounds outlandish to you because you already opted out of a key way to connect to that part of life.


Porn is addicting in the sense that it is an easy, effortless, highly dopaminurgic activity. Whether one particular individual becomes addicted in the clinical sense, depends on other factors. Again, I'm not the one who mentioned addiction.

People who use porn as the default while opting out of persuing real releationships are not the norm or even close...
And "Asexuals" are less than 1% of the general population. How many of those have a functioning sex drive and watch porn?  How many of that last group eventually leave that label and treat it as "just a phase"? How many of those actually tried what I said and found that it didn't help them at all?

Consider which of these data points do you think would describe you best, and you'll see why I used the word "outlier".
Even if it was very slightly exaggerated, it's still an efficient descriptor.


Was distracted when I read that part of your post, my bad.
I see now that you meant it as a counter to how you actually feel about it.


It's a cope that prevents them from attaining that relationship, in ways they don't even fathom from where they are.
If they didn't have porn to rely on they would be more attracted to the women in their vicinity, they would be taking more action and more risks, increasing the likelihood of attaining one.

And even if they're not addicted to porn, it's still an option in the backs of their minds.

As it is right now, their body is wired to think that it's already reproducing, and very successfuly, when in truth, that is not the case, resulting in an incongruence.


Why would I discuss it beyond surface level in a single post, if it's not the subject I set out to talk about? 
You brought it up as a qualifier for yourself. Do you think I now have to qualify myself to you?
You can choose to believe that I don't love myself if it makes you feel better about your own situation. idc.


By you and everyone that participated in this conversation so far, maybe.
I didn't post that just for you.

Oh, you enjoy your own company? I bet you never even stared at a crack on a wall for an hour, and thought of everything that has led you to that moment.

Quantity of good, not quantity of relationships.




This line of thinking indicates you are operating in the negative. From lack.
How much do you really love yourself if you can't fathom someone else opertating in the positive from a place of wholeness?
Especially if you somehow claim to be doing just that, what would lead you to assume that I was operting in the negative?

(Note what Kuramori said earlier. I'm asking you questions on some of these points rather than stating things outright, becuase some things you can only figure out if you actively think them through.
Having someone else tell you them will not help.)


Up to a certain point. It is not a perpetual thing.


Do you understand nuance? I said that supplanting the need for connection with more self love was a cope.
I did not say self love itself was a cope.


Yeh. Being in nature more, using your body more, spending less time consooming in front a screen compared to your peers will do that to you. The common thread is less reliance on technology for relief and entertainment.


Ok Zoomer.
Imagine where you'd be if you invested 10% of that time into improving yourself, increasing your so-called "SMV" and talking to women. 
The benefits you will get from that outweigh the time investment by far, yet you percieve it as a loss from where you are.

You obviously have a sexual component in your psyche since you watch porn and (I assume) find the female form attractive, otherwise you'd just be relieving yourself mechanically for maintenance without the aid of porno.


Am actually a serial monogamist, and have ONSs when not in a serious relationship.
I plan to settle down in my mid 40's.
I've been with women 10 years younger than me, so I know how the women of your generation operate.


You are taking the term SMV way too seriously though.
SMV is a semi-functional attempt to quantify how much initial interest you will get, but is not how you build attraction.


This is a bit of a chicken and egg argument situation, but you seem to agree that porn is a cope for something, at least.

So to resolve the matter, I posit that:
1. It can start as a cope for lonelines, but once it becomes ingrained, it only makes getting out of the situation harder the more you do it. This is a basic property of any type of coping mechanism.

2. If you wank women will feel something is off when they interact with you, and you will be percieved by them as less attractive, even if they can't outright tell why (and some women can).

3. I also posit that your nervous system is wired differently when you wank resulting in more reclusive behaviours, regardless of what you consciously want. Even when women signal to you that they're interested, you will miss it because you are not required to pay attention to that with your current set of habits. Most of them are subtle like that.

There is also the fact that after orgasm your body will release pair-bonding chemicals, but with no human nearby you will be essentially chemically pair bonded with the activity that got you there.
And the dopamine released by the activity will encourage you to seek it more in the future, even if you don't get full-on-addicted, resulting in a spiral.

If Pavlov could see the state of the world today he would be shitting himself.


I said I don't understand the full extent of the problem, because you have it worse and I didn't experience it to such a degree. 
I do understand the mechanism and the dynamics completely and comprehensively various angles.

Gen Alpha (misnomer lol) will obviously have it even worse than Zoomers.
This trend will continue until enough people realise digital distraction culture is a problem and collectively decide to do something about it. Either that or a "Sodom and Ghommora"/"Fall of Rome" type situation.

As for the "load of reasons"...
There is only one major reason actually: You have a steeper hill to climb. More effort is required on your part, especially if you're already invested in your kind of lifestyle. This is the only reason I'm actually talking to you instead of making fun of you.
The solution itself is the same, though, and most of the additional effort is only required initially, because, guess what, in your generation you also have an advantage:
If you can get away from the distractions, the competition from your peers is, on average, far less fit.

And you seem to be talking as if you are a special snowflake that discovered this radical new concept himself, on which he is already an expert (with barely any life experience), that it is not a basic life skill that any sane, mature person has, and if anyone has different priorities, a different way to eloquate the subject, or god forbid says jerking off will make you much less successful with women (fact), that person must not love themselves. kek.

You are living a lifestyle that no man or woman in history in any previous generation would consider meaningful or even viable. You think your sheltered ass knows jack shit about what makes a good life?

You'd rather make assumptions about me that give you a half-assed excuse to ignore the contents of what I'm saying, than actually thinking it through.

Despite your habits and wording, I had no reason to assume you didn't love yourself, however, your clinging to this subject like some kind of rhethorical shield, makes me think otherwise now.
If you can be alone with your own thoughts for 3 days without anything digital to distract you from base reality, I'll believe you that you actually love yourself, and not the coping distractions you've resigned yourself to, and which you now appear to identify with.

Untill then, enjoy whatever it is you're doing. I can tell this convo is going nowehre useful in your case, and it's already 3 posts overdue on my part.
Just remember: The more zoomers agree with you, the more zoomerettes end up dissatisfied with you lot and want to get with guys like me.

Cheers.

ITT zoomer copecel seething over boomer tantrachad rhetoric and solacing in increased typing speed and self-lovin'.

I might tell my next 3-Night-Stand that a random 18 year old asexual on the interwebs said he felt sorry for her, but not before her 15th orgasm.

Touch grass.

Did you just do the Virgin Incel vs Chad comparison?

There's no way you're older than good-old