Effects of porn on you

I'm by no means a sexual expert. I've had sex with two women, and I'm married to one of them.

Kyle Kinane is a really funny comedian. He has some hilarious stories of being a bachelor in his mid 30's, living in an apartment alone. He showers twice a week and re-wears clothes without washing them when he doesn't go out. His favorite pizza place stopped slicing his pizzas in 8 slices because they know he's the only one eating them. He's masturbated so much that it has become maintenance. He describes his sex drive like "shooing away a nuisance," like some raccoons on the front porch!

"Alright alright, go on, get out of here, scram!"

There's some truth to this. Masturbation is a pretty selfish pursuit and if you treat sex that way, you won't have a lot of motivation to share that with another person. In the end, I guess it's up to you. But there's a lot to gain from having a really deep relationship with another person.

I will say this, and I'm not making this up, I do jerk off every once in a while when my wife is out of the house. Porn actresses are unreal. It makes sense that people don't see a reason to stop watching. I've heard some podcasts with guys who've had sex with many different women, and many of them agree that very superficial women that are perfectly curvy, wear very skimpy outfits, with lots of makeup and fake tits and other sexually provocative accessories are often "broken" in one way or another -- meaning that they usually have had a really destructive relationship with past boyfriends, family, drug abuse, etc. and they do themselves up that way because of a misguided quest to feel loved. This isn't to suggest that women who are beautiful or sexually attractive are fucked up, but the women you see in porn are rarely right in the head in real life and it's near impossible to sustain a healthy relationship with them. They attract pretty skeezy guys and have been hurt a lot, so you have to pursue them with a sort of "get in and get out" kinda mentality, which hurts them further and is pretty damning for your conscience.

Every time I've finished after watching porn, the fantasy immediately vanishes and is quickly followed by a feeling of shame and awkwardness. Sitting there on an office chair, with a balled up napkin and my pants around my ankles, and a ridiculous video playing on my screen is like waking up from a coma. The feeling of stress relief, relaxation, and satisfaction is FAR greater and carries on after the fact when you've finished having sex with someone you love. I'm not exaggerating; It's just not the same.

The harm of watching porn I guess is that if you go real deep and find very specific styles of videos to get yourself off, you'll have trouble maintaining a sex drive except under extremely unrealistic circumstances. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for all people involved, and if you can't enjoy it, or alternatively, climax way too early, you'll have a very frustrated partner to deal with. My wife watches some of those mushy dramas where men are either depicted as shitbags or the most wonderful thing ever. They're pretty ridiculous and I've made fun of her for it, especially because she's a pretty intelligent woman. But I've come to realize that those types of movies are exactly congruent with me feeling like the space marine when I'm playing Doom, or when I watch an Arnold Schwarzenneger movie where he's a revenge-driven righteous deathmachine. It's not like anything I would ever see or desire to become in real life, but the fantasy is fun to think about in that moment. I wouldn't use those drama movies as a model for who you should strive to be for a woman (although the more modern ones tend to be a little more realistic, I've noticed) In fact, many women admit that they really like being roughed up in the bedroom (but not hurt.)

If you're serious about seeking a relatioship, women like a confident guy who's honest about he's interested in. The sensitive guy who is shy and soft isn't a good look. The truth is women want both -- a guy who is focused, calculated, and goal oriented to create a feeling of security and understands their feelings when they need emotional support, but also a savage animal in the sheets.

Ever since everennui and Britney_is_King got me and axdoomer curious of what scat porn was at DW, I've never watched any again. I still am scared from seeing such foulness... *shrudders in horror*

I've always wondered, "Who are all these women in porn?". Other than the famous ones, you can literally see a new woman, for each video, on each site. How are there this many people willing to take off their clothes and have sex on camera? It's pretty mind boggling if you think about it.

I've been in a bunch of relationships, and had casual sex with a bunch of women. However, I don't consider that to be an admirable thing. However when I was younger, I always wanted to be the cool guy that had a lot of sex with many women. I may have been cool to my male friends, but I got a pretty bad reputation with it from women in my social circles. Because of that, I was eventually kind of marginalized, and had to seek out a new social circle. There's been a bunch of times where I've feared for my health/life; getting blood work done. There's absolutely nothing worse than the feeling you have when you slip up and don't wear a condom because you were drunk. Even if you use protection, it is still possible to get an STD according to doctors. It is much better to stay with one good woman. Honestly, nothing comes close to actually loving someone, and having a deep connection with them. Moreover, if you stay with one person, you will end up having a lot more sex, and be a lot safer; even if it's just one person. Hey, you can always pretend she's someone else, because pussy pretty much feels the same. I don't care how hot she is, people eventually get bored of fucking the same person all the time. But it's not just about sex, its about the feeling of companionship you have with the person. A wise Jamaican guy said this to me once; "who you love, and who get's your dick hard can be two separate things." However, from this, I cannot really speak from experience, as I haven't really found a girl that I feel really compassionate for. Only ones, that I thought I did, but were eventually turned off by their behavior, and coldness. It has taken me a while to truly understand what I desire in a woman beyond looks; that is loyalty, intelligence, and good sensibilities. Lots of the girls I've gone out with always seem to have something fundamentally wrong with their character.

I guess I used to watch a regular amount of porn, but ever since I stopped blazing, I've been going out a lot more, and as a result kind of forgot about porn. I don't think masturbation is a bad thing; as a matter of fact you should do it without the visual stimulation. Sometimes I think about past situations of having sex with a girl I really like; or imagining a situation that could have gone that way. I read that if you don't use your penis, it will eventually shrink, and stop working correctly. So masturbation, is a healthy activity; but the porn can desensitize you, and probably depress you after a while.

I too, have often wondered how it's possible that there are so many pornstars (great ones, too) that are on camera doing crazy shit for free. They have to be getting paid somehow right? Are we watching outdated porn that people throw out and you have to pay money for the super amazing exclusive stuff? How good can it even be?

To answer the thread question, it makes me horny. I believe that is the intended effect.

Interesting topic. Call me boring, but when I do watch porn it's pretty damn vanilla. The only thing I actually enjoy camgirls masturbating and whatnot, never been into any of the nasty shit like bodily fluids, or even orgies, etc etc. Being 25 and having regular internet access since I was about 7 it's pretty much always been a click away, but I never actually sought it out til I was 14 since losing my virginity was the first thing that seemed to instill sexual urges in me. My parents didn't really give a damn about me seeing it, they just told me how to be safe and let me go from there. I don't really know if porn has had any impact on me, mainly because I don't really need it - I can make whatever I want in my imagination when I get an urge to wank. I don't have a super high sex drive either, maybe that plays into me not caring too much one way or the other, but I'm of the mind that if someone has sick fantasies or is a criminal deviant in some way or whatever, they're probably going to have that to some degree regardless of exposure to their porn of choice. It might help them get more excited by it or something, but it can't turn someone that way, seems to be a thing that has to be baked-in from the start..

I do believe porn can have some effects on others, especially people's self-esteem (both for males and females). My two cents: Porn has been around for decades, but it used to be an underground thing were only the lowest of all low people would be into.  Cat houses, swingers clubs, silent movie pornos (and yes they existed), etc..).  Porn has become more mainstream and easily accessible than the old days thanks to the internet.  Generations ago porn was not socially acceptable because it was perceived as being toxic to society.  It objectified women, encouraged recreational sex, and pretty much altered people's mindsets on the concept of sex.  Instead of being something special (like a couple in love with each other.... or perhaps  a couple wanting to conceive a child), sex has been reduced to "huge tit milf guzzles 20 loads of jizz" or some other messed up crap.  It was probably for the best that porn was kept low key and underground in my opinion.  

It's strange, the guilt thing has never been an issue for me, nor has the fantasy thing - I know it's "fake" from the start so I'm really not shocked when I find myself in my room after I wank and there's absolutely zero guilt attached. I think "guilty feelings about sex" are kind of strange in their own right - Unless you're cheating on someone, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilt of sexual arousal, intercourse, desires, etc etc and despite most media being more sexual than ever, I still see an element of repression when it comes to sex. People have been trained to think of it as something more than just a natural function of the human body it seems, and attributing such great power to it is a mistake from the get-go. Again this is just me, for all I know I've got it completely backwards, this is just what's come to mind thinking about the topic on and off over the years and observing society in general.

Bro...the noise they make...

"NNGUH! NNGUH! NNGUH! NNGUH!"

I am fucking dying.

Whoa, that's bizarre.

I hope you understand when I say it's bizarre, I'm referring to the science associated with passed down genes, your upbringing, your sexual development, and it's eventual collision with the interests and values of the social sphere. Not with you.

Although I don't have a similar story, I can empathize and imagine that these things, being almost entirely out of your control, had to have been very frustrating at different points in your life.

You would develop some mean carpal tunnel syndrome.