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Post by Deleted on Sept 17, 2017 5:54:49 GMT -5
I assume you consume pornography in some form. What do you think, does it have a noticeable effect on your life? Do you feel less motivated to look for a partner because you can just whack off real quick and be done with your urges? Do you perhaps become jealous of these people on the video getting all the action? I know some people report that masturbation seems to kind of lower their self-esteem, motivation, and overall energy. When talking about combating depression, fraggle from Doomworld suggested stopping fapping among other things. Does it work negatively for you too or does it help you relieve some stress and just relax for a bit? Is it even exciting at this point, considering how much you've seen? Then there is the problem of unrealistic expectations. I've read that porn often gives people wrong ideas about what sex is actually like. After all, it's staged, and the point of porn is to look good, not feel good. So after seeing all that porn, young people might be disappointed to find out that the real thing is quite different, which can make them lose interest in sex. It could be compared to young girls watching too many romanticized movies and expecting every guy to be a pretty prince on a white horse. Fantasy seriously taints their sense of reality, which can be really dangerous. Do you think you can avoid that happening?
Please don't link to any pornographic materials as that would be against the rules. This topic is for discussing the effects of porn, not spreading it in any form.
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40oz
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Post by 40oz on Sept 17, 2017 11:21:10 GMT -5
I'm by no means a sexual expert. I've had sex with two women, and I'm married to one of them.
Kyle Kinane is a really funny comedian. He has some hilarious stories of being a bachelor in his mid 30's, living in an apartment alone. He showers twice a week and re-wears clothes without washing them when he doesn't go out. His favorite pizza place stopped slicing his pizzas in 8 slices because they know he's the only one eating them. He's masturbated so much that it has become maintenance. He describes his sex drive like "shooing away a nuisance," like some raccoons on the front porch!
"Alright alright, go on, get out of here, scram!"
There's some truth to this. Masturbation is a pretty selfish pursuit and if you treat sex that way, you won't have a lot of motivation to share that with another person. In the end, I guess it's up to you. But there's a lot to gain from having a really deep relationship with another person.
I will say this, and I'm not making this up, I do jerk off every once in a while when my wife is out of the house. Porn actresses are unreal. It makes sense that people don't see a reason to stop watching. I've heard some podcasts with guys who've had sex with many different women, and many of them agree that very superficial women that are perfectly curvy, wear very skimpy outfits, with lots of makeup and fake tits and other sexually provocative accessories are often "broken" in one way or another -- meaning that they usually have had a really destructive relationship with past boyfriends, family, drug abuse, etc. and they do themselves up that way because of a misguided quest to feel loved. This isn't to suggest that women who are beautiful or sexually attractive are fucked up, but the women you see in porn are rarely right in the head in real life and it's near impossible to sustain a healthy relationship with them. They attract pretty skeezy guys and have been hurt a lot, so you have to pursue them with a sort of "get in and get out" kinda mentality, which hurts them further and is pretty damning for your conscience.
Every time I've finished after watching porn, the fantasy immediately vanishes and is quickly followed by a feeling of shame and awkwardness. Sitting there on an office chair, with a balled up napkin and my pants around my ankles, and a ridiculous video playing on my screen is like waking up from a coma. The feeling of stress relief, relaxation, and satisfaction is FAR greater and carries on after the fact when you've finished having sex with someone you love. I'm not exaggerating; It's just not the same.
The harm of watching porn I guess is that if you go real deep and find very specific styles of videos to get yourself off, you'll have trouble maintaining a sex drive except under extremely unrealistic circumstances. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for all people involved, and if you can't enjoy it, or alternatively, climax way too early, you'll have a very frustrated partner to deal with. My wife watches some of those mushy dramas where men are either depicted as shitbags or the most wonderful thing ever. They're pretty ridiculous and I've made fun of her for it, especially because she's a pretty intelligent woman. But I've come to realize that those types of movies are exactly congruent with me feeling like the space marine when I'm playing Doom, or when I watch an Arnold Schwarzenneger movie where he's a revenge-driven righteous deathmachine. It's not like anything I would ever see or desire to become in real life, but the fantasy is fun to think about in that moment. I wouldn't use those drama movies as a model for who you should strive to be for a woman (although the more modern ones tend to be a little more realistic, I've noticed) In fact, many women admit that they really like being roughed up in the bedroom (but not hurt.)
If you're serious about seeking a relatioship, women like a confident guy who's honest about he's interested in. The sensitive guy who is shy and soft isn't a good look. The truth is women want both -- a guy who is focused, calculated, and goal oriented to create a feeling of security and understands their feelings when they need emotional support, but also a savage animal in the sheets.
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Justince
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Post by Justince on Sept 17, 2017 12:00:55 GMT -5
Porn never was a big thing in most of my life, now that I'm nearing 50 my sex drive just isn't the same anymore and I'm not ashamed to admit that, so it becomes even less interesting. It's part of being old and that's ok. I was raised in a household where porn was never available, or talked about. The internet didn't start to get big until I was already in college. By then I was embroiled my my own interests and dating often so again, it never caught on. Something about porn always felt gross. I've been married, and divorced, that was almost 20 years ago. I feel that once you have that intimacy with a good woman porn just lost whatever tiny appeal it may have had, at least for me. Currently you won't find any of it here, digital or otherwise. I even stopped watching that new HBO series The Deuce because it was sleazy and I just don't relate to any of it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 17, 2017 12:52:11 GMT -5
Ever since everennui and Britney_is_King got me and axdoomer curious of what scat porn was at DW, I've never watched any again. I still am scared from seeing such foulness... *shrudders in horror*
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Justince
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Post by Justince on Sept 17, 2017 14:25:23 GMT -5
That's the other thing, is the cultural shift in simply obtaining pornography. The internet gives way to any sick shit your brain could possibly come up with, just a click away. The first nudie mag I saw was on the bus ride home from school probably in sixth grade which was like 1982. How many kids from that day could find 'scat porn'? It would never happen. I didn't even have a VCR in my house until several years later, so video pornography also was never anything I could imagine, let alone obtain for myself. It wasn't such a big issue for kids especially around my age to have a problem with porn because it was nearly impossible to own any unless you swiped it from an adult. It's rarity made it more secretive and coveted, a few good mags were all you needed as a teen.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2017 7:08:48 GMT -5
I've always wondered, "Who are all these women in porn?". Other than the famous ones, you can literally see a new woman, for each video, on each site. How are there this many people willing to take off their clothes and have sex on camera? It's pretty mind boggling if you think about it.
I've been in a bunch of relationships, and had casual sex with a bunch of women. However, I don't consider that to be an admirable thing. However when I was younger, I always wanted to be the cool guy that had a lot of sex with many women. I may have been cool to my male friends, but I got a pretty bad reputation with it from women in my social circles. Because of that, I was eventually kind of marginalized, and had to seek out a new social circle. There's been a bunch of times where I've feared for my health/life; getting blood work done. There's absolutely nothing worse than the feeling you have when you slip up and don't wear a condom because you were drunk. Even if you use protection, it is still possible to get an STD according to doctors. It is much better to stay with one good woman. Honestly, nothing comes close to actually loving someone, and having a deep connection with them. Moreover, if you stay with one person, you will end up having a lot more sex, and be a lot safer; even if it's just one person. Hey, you can always pretend she's someone else, because pussy pretty much feels the same. I don't care how hot she is, people eventually get bored of fucking the same person all the time. But it's not just about sex, its about the feeling of companionship you have with the person. A wise Jamaican guy said this to me once; "who you love, and who get's your dick hard can be two separate things." However, from this, I cannot really speak from experience, as I haven't really found a girl that I feel really compassionate for. Only ones, that I thought I did, but were eventually turned off by their behavior, and coldness. It has taken me a while to truly understand what I desire in a woman beyond looks; that is loyalty, intelligence, and good sensibilities. Lots of the girls I've gone out with always seem to have something fundamentally wrong with their character.
I guess I used to watch a regular amount of porn, but ever since I stopped blazing, I've been going out a lot more, and as a result kind of forgot about porn. I don't think masturbation is a bad thing; as a matter of fact you should do it without the visual stimulation. Sometimes I think about past situations of having sex with a girl I really like; or imagining a situation that could have gone that way. I read that if you don't use your penis, it will eventually shrink, and stop working correctly. So masturbation, is a healthy activity; but the porn can desensitize you, and probably depress you after a while.
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TOS
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Post by TOS on Sept 20, 2017 11:41:45 GMT -5
To preface, I watch porn on a regular basis. Damn near daily (usually before bed). It would appear that I am addicted to the dopamine and oxytocin rush that follows. This really serves as just a stress reliever. Kind of like a period at the end of the long sentence that was my day.
This hasn't had any devastatingly negative effect on me, my loved ones, or my desire to seek sexual relations with real women. To solidify this point, I have been in a very happy and sexually fulfilling relationship with my girlfriend for just shy of three years. I will say this though...watching porn as often as I do has increased my stamina to an annoying level. Yes, I last too long. You'd think that was a good thing, but it's annoying after about forty minutes and I'm still not close to climax yet. Then even when I do get to that point, the orgasm is cheapened due to the previous several days' porn sessions. That being said, I think I'm going to seriously cut back and see if I notice any improvement. After a couple of weeks I'll try to come back and let you know what fappened happened.
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40oz
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Post by 40oz on Sept 20, 2017 12:45:57 GMT -5
I too, have often wondered how it's possible that there are so many pornstars (great ones, too) that are on camera doing crazy shit for free. They have to be getting paid somehow right? Are we watching outdated porn that people throw out and you have to pay money for the super amazing exclusive stuff? How good can it even be?
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Post by mistercornbread on Oct 2, 2017 8:29:38 GMT -5
I find that I feel better as a human being, overall, when I consume pornography less. I have conducted experiments where I use it a lot in a short period, then use it very little, and I find that there's a lot of really ugly guilt and disappointment that comes with increased usage. I think having a partner who is actually quite satisfying adds to this discomfort since I figure, why not just get busy with her? I have also spent a long time contemplating my relationship with porn and how to improve it. A few things I've realized:
1) I have a major issue with women being abused in seedy, sleazy environments such as those you frequently find in "professional" settings. This has slowly led me to focus more on either photosets or amateur videos, which tend to suggest that the woman is more in control of her situation, especially in the case of the amateur scene. 2) I really, really, really enjoy watching people engage in stuff that turns me on. I've more or less dropped the notion of vicariously experiencing it through the male, and have just become enamored with the idea that two (or more) people are being sexual with each other. The amateur videos make this quite a bit more enjoyable because it's people who are into each other, whether they're friends or a couple, and it comes off as far more friendly and genuine. 3) I'm only into fat fetishism, which seems to be a result of both childhood experiences and early Internet browsing. I have never, ever developed any interest in any commonplace activities—not even good old vaginal intercourse—and as a result have frequently felt confusion about my orientation, since I don't fit in any of the rigid labels such as gay/straight/bisexual/asexual, etc. It seems that my pornographic interests either prevented the development of what would have been typical heterosexuality, or I was always going to be a fetishist. It's strange how much pornography can affect the core of your core libido. 4) Sexuality for me is more about aesthetics than pleasure, as I find it very interesting how the mechanics of my preferred pornography appears. While the tactile sensation of stimulated nerve endings is not without its charm, I'm unconcerned with how much pleasure a sexual activity can produce; my focus is on how it looks, and the juxtaposition of organs and flesh. I treat sexual experience like an emotionally explosive, low-brow art installation, in a way. 5) My rather odd exposure to a few pornographic images in a couple of early Doom mods as a child created a rather peculiar and sometimes horrifying, OCD-laced relationship between myself and Doom, which dissolved after taking psychedelics. 6) An interesting video can lead to ideas in the bedroom, but it's important to distinguish between the two and recognize that the touch of one's partner is infinitely more satisfying than a fantasy, even if the fantasy influenced a real-world scenario. 7) Orgasm can frequently feel psychedelic, and it seems the shame/regret men feel after masturbating is linked to a rush of self-awareness butting heads with disassociation. The momentary loss of control reminds me of psilocybin breakthroughs, as well as dying. There is a very intimate relationship between sex and death that I tend to experience during sexual activity that I am more in tune with now.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2017 8:31:53 GMT -5
To answer the thread question, it makes me horny. I believe that is the intended effect.
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joe-ilya
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Post by joe-ilya on Oct 6, 2017 19:25:05 GMT -5
I too, have often wondered how it's possible that there are so many pornstars (great ones, too) that are on camera doing crazy shit for free. They have to be getting paid somehow right? Are we watching outdated porn that people throw out and you have to pay money for the super amazing exclusive stuff? How good can it even be? I'm no porn expert, I'm just using common sense here: Pornstars don't do it for free, porn is sold to people just like movies, video games and other virtual stock items are sold to people, there are streaming platforms for them where people have to pay to see it/interact with it, and occasionally there are some generous people who share it illegally and risk being sued by the material owners
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2017 4:35:44 GMT -5
Interesting topic. Call me boring, but when I do watch porn it's pretty damn vanilla. The only thing I actually enjoy camgirls masturbating and whatnot, never been into any of the nasty shit like bodily fluids, or even orgies, etc etc. Being 25 and having regular internet access since I was about 7 it's pretty much always been a click away, but I never actually sought it out til I was 14 since losing my virginity was the first thing that seemed to instill sexual urges in me. My parents didn't really give a damn about me seeing it, they just told me how to be safe and let me go from there. I don't really know if porn has had any impact on me, mainly because I don't really need it - I can make whatever I want in my imagination when I get an urge to wank. I don't have a super high sex drive either, maybe that plays into me not caring too much one way or the other, but I'm of the mind that if someone has sick fantasies or is a criminal deviant in some way or whatever, they're probably going to have that to some degree regardless of exposure to their porn of choice. It might help them get more excited by it or something, but it can't turn someone that way, seems to be a thing that has to be baked-in from the start..
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2017 5:31:10 GMT -5
Every time I've finished after watching porn, the fantasy immediately vanishes and is quickly followed by a feeling of shame and awkwardness. Sitting there on an office chair, with a balled up napkin and my pants around my ankles, and a ridiculous video playing on my screen is like waking up from a coma. Haha, that's a good description, sounds very familiar. I just get a bad feeling after watching porn, like I had something but then it simply disappeared and left me empty. The expectations and the aftertaste are vastly different. Curiously, I typically don't get this with hentai manga. It doesn't give me a feeling that someone is sacrificing their dignity in order to entertain me and make money. It doesn't seem fake because it isn't pretending to be real in the first place. Even the most vague plots in it are much more developed than in live action porn, and typically it actually tries to make you care about the characters. There is much more artistry in the drawings, a lot of stories have a positive mood, and they just leave you with a good peaceful feeling. With hentai manga I also get to practice reading Japanese, which definitely makes me feel less like I'm totally wasting my time. So in the last few years I've been mostly concentrating on drawn porn, and I almost think that it's healthier in some ways.
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GRUG
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Post by GRUG on Oct 11, 2017 0:23:24 GMT -5
I do believe porn can have some effects on others, especially people's self-esteem (both for males and females). My two cents: Porn has been around for decades, but it used to be an underground thing were only the lowest of all low people would be into. Cat houses, swingers clubs, silent movie pornos (and yes they existed), etc..). Porn has become more mainstream and easily accessible than the old days thanks to the internet. Generations ago porn was not socially acceptable because it was perceived as being toxic to society. It objectified women, encouraged recreational sex, and pretty much altered people's mindsets on the concept of sex. Instead of being something special (like a couple in love with each other.... or perhaps a couple wanting to conceive a child), sex has been reduced to "huge tit milf guzzles 20 loads of jizz" or some other messed up crap. It was probably for the best that porn was kept low key and underground in my opinion.
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GRUG
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Post by GRUG on Oct 11, 2017 0:25:59 GMT -5
I find that I feel better as a human being, overall, when I consume pornography less. I have conducted experiments where I use it a lot in a short period, then use it very little, and I find that there's a lot of really ugly guilt and disappointment that comes with increased usage. ^This. I 100% agree with you mistercornbread.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2017 2:11:42 GMT -5
It's strange, the guilt thing has never been an issue for me, nor has the fantasy thing - I know it's "fake" from the start so I'm really not shocked when I find myself in my room after I wank and there's absolutely zero guilt attached. I think "guilty feelings about sex" are kind of strange in their own right - Unless you're cheating on someone, there is absolutely no reason to feel guilt of sexual arousal, intercourse, desires, etc etc and despite most media being more sexual than ever, I still see an element of repression when it comes to sex. People have been trained to think of it as something more than just a natural function of the human body it seems, and attributing such great power to it is a mistake from the get-go. Again this is just me, for all I know I've got it completely backwards, this is just what's come to mind thinking about the topic on and off over the years and observing society in general.
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40oz
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Post by 40oz on Oct 11, 2017 7:14:24 GMT -5
Sometimes when I see a woman being throatfucked, her hair all messy, and the makeup running down her cheeks, watching the bulge of the mans cock pushing her adam's apple up and down, I can't help but laugh from the sheer absurdity of it. I mean, she couldn't possibly be enjoying this. And this isn't to suggest that I'm laughing because it's entertaining to me to watch a woman in discomfort, or that it's funny that a woman's body can be so inconsiderably abused, or that she could have possibly done anything to deserve it. Rather, it's that I'm in pure disbelief that what I'm watching is real and that the video was made because there's a market of people who want that.
Sex is sexy, there's no doubt about that. But it's so weird and diverse and full of outlandish perversion of the normal sexual relationship you would have with any real person. Not to mention how unsanitary everything looks. The only way someone could desire to be on the receiving end of a cumshot in the eye, or fisting, or gagging on a cock that was in some other girls ass is if the person had a depressingly disturbed childhood. As far as I've heard, this is true for many of the women who are in porn. It gives me a self-loathing feeling akin to eating meat that I know has been factory farmed. No one deserves a life like that.
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TOS
You're trying to say you like DOS better than me, right?
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Post by TOS on Oct 12, 2017 20:20:12 GMT -5
Sometimes when I see a woman being throatfucked, her hair all messy, and the makeup running down her cheeks, watching the bulge of the mans cock pushing her adam's apple up and down, I can't help but laugh from the sheer absurdity of it. I mean, she couldn't possibly be enjoying this.. Bro...the noise they make... "NNGUH! NNGUH! NNGUH! NNGUH!" I am fucking dying.
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Post by mistercornbread on Oct 13, 2017 1:12:45 GMT -5
In regards to sexual guilt/shame, I suspect that it is primarily religious baggage, some of which probably gets encoded into our genes or in some way becomes a part of our psyche. We know from science that a lab rat traumatized by being shocked while being exposed to a particular scent will cause the offspring to fear the scent upon first exposure, so we know that fear can be passed down.
The religious reasoning seems to be related to the notion that sexual activity is only appropriate in the context of procreation, making any other practice sinful, especially homosexual behavior, which is practiced by only a minority of the population and was thus feared and demonized. It would seem we recognized nature's "default programming" and incorrectly concluded that it is the only acceptable sex act.
What is exceptionally odd about my history is that I treated sex very negatively growing up while lacking a religious backdrop in addition to having parents who were very honest about sex. I thought I was an asexual until I realized that I was way into fat girls, and the idea of literally having sex with their fat (in particular the belly area) is the extent of my interest. I've never had "actual" sex, not even felatio, because it's not fat. I realized as an adult that I'm a fetishist. Not only that, but the most extreme possible variety; one who is into the fetish and nothing else.
Was this development a result of seeing BBW porn? Or was I always going to be like this? Who knows. I can't relate to straight, gay, bi or asexual types. I can't even publicly come out (although I'm very open about who I am) because fetishists, and in particular fat fetishists, are frequently written off as misogynists.
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40oz
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Post by 40oz on Oct 13, 2017 7:42:06 GMT -5
I've never had "actual" sex, not even felatio, because it's not fat. I realized as an adult that I'm a fetishist. Not only that, but the most extreme possible variety; one who is into the fetish and nothing else. Was this development a result of seeing BBW porn? Or was I always going to be like this? Who knows. I can't relate to straight, gay, bi or asexual types. I can't even publicly come out (although I'm very open about who I am) because fetishists, and in particular fat fetishists, are frequently written off as misogynists. Whoa, that's bizarre. I hope you understand when I say it's bizarre, I'm referring to the science associated with passed down genes, your upbringing, your sexual development, and it's eventual collision with the interests and values of the social sphere. Not with you. Although I don't have a similar story, I can empathize and imagine that these things, being almost entirely out of your control, had to have been very frustrating at different points in your life.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2017 7:03:31 GMT -5
I'm into a whole array of body types - Thin, fit models to fatties, as long as they aren't huge I'm pretty damn open minded!
See, this is the part that sucks ass. No one should be made to feel shame for their sexual desires, as long as it's with a consenting individual, there is absolutely no reason for this horrible caveat of society itself.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2017 7:36:40 GMT -5
You would develop some mean carpal tunnel syndrome.
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Post by diesirae on Oct 15, 2017 20:19:36 GMT -5
Porn is cancer
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2017 17:16:24 GMT -5
"Watching pornography may shrink the brain and dull responses to sexual stimulation, researchers have suggested.
Scientists have found for the first time that regularly viewing sexual images could be physically harmful.
Researchers from the Max Planck Institute in Berlin found that a part of the brain which activates when people feel motivated or rewarded, shrinks and works less efficiently.
So people who watch a lot of porn are likely to need increasingly graphic material to achieve the same sexual stimulation.
The scientists also believe that people who already have a smaller ‘striatum’ – the reward part of the brain – may be more likely to use pornography.
“It's not clear, for example, whether watching porn leads to brain changes or whether people born with certain brain types watch more porn,” said Dr Simone Kühn.
“We found that the volume of the so-called striatum, a brain region that has been associated with reward processing and motivated behavior was smaller the more pornography consumption the participants reported.
“Moreover we found that another brain region, that is also part of the striatum that is active when people see sexual stimuli, shows less activation the more pornography participants consumed.”
For the study, Dr Kuhn and her colleague Jurgen Gallinat from Charite University, also in Berlin, recruited 64 healthy men between the ages of 21 and 45 years and asked them questions about their porn-watching habits.
They also took images of the men’s brains to measure volume and to see how their brains reacted to pornographic pictures.
They found noticeable differences in the men who abstained compared with those who regularly accessed sexual videos or images.
However other researchers claimed that pornography in moderation was probably not damaging.
“Everything is going to be bad in excess and it’s probably not terrible in moderation,” Dr Gregory Tau of the Columbia University
Dr Tau, who was not involved with the study, agreed that more research should be done in this area and that longer studies would be need to find out if porn leads to brain changes.
“It is possible that there are individuals with a certain kind of brain that are more susceptible to these kinds of behaviors,” he said.
“Or, it’s possible it’s the excessive use (of porn) that’s perpetuating itself to causing brain changes. Or, it could be both.”
The study was published in JAMA Psychiatry"
www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/03/14/watching-pornography-damages-mens-brains/
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2018 1:31:02 GMT -5
I've been contemplating the elimination of porn.
I stopped smoking cigarettes, and I only have two glasses of wine a day, and a few drinks on the weekend.
I do think porn is probably bad for your brain.
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