live

In which bands you have seen live and in the flesh are reviewed.


Meshuggah
Facemelting. Still couldn't tell you what the band looks like, because for the entire show they were blasting the audience with a high-powered lighting show that turned the flesh of the front row translucent and utterly fucked my retinas.

No idea what the setlist was, which is fine, because Meshuggah really only have one song, which started at somepoint during the year 2000 and still hasn't finished yet.

If I had one beef, it would be with the technical perfection inherent; there was, perhaps, a feeling that there was no point in seeing them live, because their live performance sounds exactly the same as the studio recording on the CD, no exceptions. It's amazing from an OCD purist's standpoint, but maybe the lack of spontaneous fuckery removes something from the overall live band experience.

Mibbies aye, mibbies nae. I can't fault them if it just seems like they are going through the motions, because the motions are fucking impressive, yo. Five star band.


Judas Priest
I caught them during the Epitaph tour with Halford et. al. And, motherfucker, that Halford can *sing*.

Alas, then, that the band is past its prime. The pensioner shuffle was in full effect, there were too many gaps between songs because of prostate cancer necessitating frequent piss breaks. They are still wearing the same ridiculous shit that they wore in the 80's - Halford, decked out in this massive silver spacesuit three sizes too large, looked like a fucking tortoise craning his neck out of his shell in search of lettuce.

During one particularly cringeworthy moment, he donned a motorcycle on a rail and was tootled round the stage three times at 3 miles per hour. Judas Priest on a mobility scooter. Jesus Wept.

Three stars, because some of those songs are still pretty awesome.


Jane's Addiction
Utter crap. Lead singer sounds like a man gargling cocks whilst simultaneously getting kicked in the balls. Stuff that works on a studio album doesn't work live, backing tracks utterly overpowered everything else.

Best moment of the show was the singer strapping a pair of maracas between his legs and inviting the crowd to lick his balls, shimmying all the while. I think he liked the lukewarm Scottish crowd about as much as we liked him.

Two stars, because giving them one star is homophobic.