TOS
You're trying to say you like DOS better than me, right?
Glenzinho's Chicabro
Posts: 1,045
|
Changes
Jun 14, 2018 5:51:27 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by TOS on Jun 14, 2018 5:51:27 GMT -5
Change can often be a scary thing. In fact, some people are legitimately afraid of change. But change can sometimes be for the better.
What kinds of changes would you like to see in your own lives? What steps can you take to help facilitate that change?
Personally, I would like to become more assertive. I often find myself wanting to be the people pleaser. I do this, I think, because I feel that it will make people like me more. Therein lies the issue at hand. I acknowledge that it is nice to be liked, but when I do things to become more likeable at the expense of my own happiness, I am hurting myself at worst and staying in one place at best. For me to stop this, I need to let go of my emotional adhesion to people who only like me because of the things I do for them. Whether it's spotting them on drinks, food, driving them around, dropping my own plans to entertain them...whatever it is, I have a nasty habit of putting people before me who view me as nothing more than an emotional safety net or a living ATM. To combat this habit, I have decided to cut everyone off from everything aside from my friendship and company and see who is still standing with me at the end of it all.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Changes
Jun 14, 2018 6:22:38 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2018 6:22:38 GMT -5
You’re going about things the correct way if assertiveness is what you desire. You may very well lose a few a relationships because of this, perhaps a lot. You probably won’t have to wait long to see who will be left standing and it will be better for you in the long run, especially before anyone has a chance to really screw you over. You’re a young dude and not swimming in money and if people aren’t contributing like you are, cut cut cut. Or perhaps you’re over-contributing when a situation doesn’t warrant. People can get used to that. Run your little experiment and you’ll find your answers. Lack of reciprocation can mean more than just money too Chicabro. One way communication and people taking other advantages over yourself in ways not financially related fall under this.
|
|
TOS
You're trying to say you like DOS better than me, right?
Glenzinho's Chicabro
Posts: 1,045
|
Changes
Jun 17, 2018 2:57:26 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by TOS on Jun 17, 2018 2:57:26 GMT -5
Well, that didn't take long. I stop being a doormat and less than a week later I've lost a "friend."
Stings a bit...but I'm pushing through it. This is a very bittersweet feeling for me. It sucks to learn that the friendship wasn't what I thought it was...but the confirmation of my suspicions has brought me some much needed closure and has begun paving the way to self improvement.
|
|
agent6
Doomer
professional savescummer
Posts: 397
|
Changes
Jun 17, 2018 3:04:58 GMT -5
Post by agent6 on Jun 17, 2018 3:04:58 GMT -5
Well, that didn't take long. I stop being a doormat and less than a week later I've lost a "friend." Stings a bit...but I'm pushing through it. This is a very bittersweet feeling for me. It sucks to learn that the friendship wasn't what I thought it was...but the confirmation of my suspicions has brought me some much needed closure and has begun paving the way to self improvement. Never feel sorry for "losing" someone who wasn't what he pretended to be, learned that one a long time ago. Those are people that no one needs in their lives.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Changes
Jun 17, 2018 3:20:07 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2018 3:20:07 GMT -5
Exactly agent6 . My missus has a strong way about this kind of thing, she’ll even say to people like this “how much do you cost? What is the amount to get rid of you from my life. Whatever it is I will pay gladly and it will be cheap and the best money I could ever spend.” I love that woman and would marry her again if I could.
|
|