why is everyone always only nice to each other

The reason why people don't talk to you or want to be your friends is because:

-You don't write properly; your posts are hard to read, nobody wants to decipher you every time you post.
-You take everything too seriously.
-You are oversensitive.
-You lack social awareness.
-Everything has to be explained to you in extreme detail, otherwise you don't understand what people are saying to you.
-You ignore and/or deflect a lot of very caring people that give you a lot of advice even though you claim to care what people say.
-I got banned 2 times because you reported me over petty crap.
-You want to ban other people because you made a satanic ritual.
-You think demons are real, you think Sonic the Hedgehog is real.
-You share private messsages with other people.
-You never change because you don't get professional help, your depressed parents are neglectful and you don't have any real life friends to reside in. Internet friends can't change you to be a better person.
-This thread also shows a severe sign of jealousy, which is also not good if you're looking for friends, nobody wants a friend who's jealous.
-You lack self awareness and will likely disregard everything I've said because you think you're better or because your daddy told you.

okay im going to try to write more properly im going to try to use more punctuation. and i dont always know if some one is trying to be serious or not because i dont always notice if they try to make a joke or not. i dont know how to make my self less sensitive i feel always scared that some one is trying to secretly mock me or to bully me. and i will try to understand more what someone says and i dont ignore the caring people because i talk to ketmar in private messages and i talk to deathclaw a lot , and i talk 40oz , and i also talk to megapancanekstratekist , and i talk to pintolin in the private messages and they are my friends and i also have defended deathclaw against what some one said about him and i explained that deathclaw is a very good friend because they were saying something really bad about him , so i wanted to defend him against that and i care very much about all of my friends. and i also made a thread where i wanted to have advice how to solve the hunger in countries because of ketmar , cuz i remember he said that he doesnt have enough to eat some times and i wanted to find a solution how to solve that so that in his country he doesnt starve sometimes anymore. and you got banned because u were trying to bully me with gifs , and you should not have tried to bully me with gifs , if you had not tried to bully me with that then you would not be banned and its your fault. and i wanted to ban olderthanthehills because he woke up when i was talking about a demon which means , he was posssessed by the demon and that was very likely to me so i wanted to ban the account so the demon cant try to haunt doomerboards and if olderthanthehills was not possessed by a demon then he could ask pintolin to make a new account that he can use after the demon was gone. i shared the private message with vigilante because he said that he wants 40oz to die and that made me feel really scared , and he said that on the doomhaven and on that forum it is against the rules to be toxic so i did not know what to do and i had to tell deathclaw about it , and i have told 40oz about the messages because vigilante said the things about him and i wanted to warn him because i felt really scared that he could get angry at 40oz and maybe try to do something to him , and i wanted to protect 40oz so i told him that he said that about him. and deathclaw posted the message in the threat and not i did and i didnt tell deathclaw to post it. i told my dad i want to get a therapy but he doesnt allow me to do that because he hates therapists and he thinks that they are assholes and greedy and that they would damage my mind because it would give them more money than they already have , so they give me terrible therapies and brain medicine to damage me so we have to pay all of this stuff , and he gets money and i will feel even worse , and my dad says to me that he doesnt let me go to a therapy because he is scared that the therapist would do that to me and that he would try to talk to me more but they are asleep and i dont have my schoolfriends any more because i was not in the school anymore , and i was not in there any more for so long that my parents say that i should not go back to that because they will not recognize me and they will not remember me , and they will wonder who i am and they are going to kick me out of that school and i will not be able to stay there so my parents dont allow me to go on that school any more. and i am sorry that i felt jealous and i felt terrible because everyone always left me alone and they were talking to each other all the time , and it made me feel terrible and i had to write this and i had to cry for like 20 minutes so thats why i had to say this , i was trying to keep myself away from making the thread but the feeling got even worse and i felt forced to write this so i could not stop myself anymore and i am sorry , and i will try to not write that any more. and i dont want to disregard everything of what you are saying , and i dont know how to make myself be able to have much more self awareness so i dont know how to do that exactly , and i am sorry. and i still would love very much to be your friend. and i hope this text is better , because i have tried to use many more commas and punctuations , so i hope its better to read now

okay what do you want me to change so you can read it

ok

This is a huge improvement, this is how you should always format your posts from now on.
Sorry I don't have time to reply to the rest of the text right now, cya later.

As joe mentioned, breaking up your post that way is much more readable.
Remember as you read this that I'm on your side and trying to help you, so you should actually take what I say to heart. Read it and take time to process the information. I'm not going to sugarcoat, I'm going to straight-talk with you man-to-man, as my equal. Don't deflect responsibility by telling yourself I'm being mean to you. Don't pout and engage in self-pity when I point out unappealing aspects about yourself. Read the information, reflect on what it means, and think about how you can change your behavior so that maybe you don't continue to find yourself feeling disconnected from people. Okay, here we go...

"why is everyone always only nice to each other"
That's not the case, bud, you're projecting. People might be ignoring you a little more often now, that could very well be the case. If they are, I think the reason is that you're very needy and attention-seeking. You post often and you post a lot, and you demand too much of other people's attention, advice, clarification, and reassurance. It's exhausting. This thread is the epitome of it. In your replies you're often volatile, hostile and obnoxious towards others which can also make others not want to engage with you.

"i dont always know if some one is trying to be serious or not"
I genuinely don't know how to help you with this. If what someone's saying is absurd, or seems exaggerated, or is the opposite of what is generally acceptable speech, they're probably joking. Take time to assess this for yourself. Don't immediately reply flipping out on someone or demanding clarification for every little comment.

"i dont know how to make my self less sensitive i feel always scared that some one is trying to secretly mock me or to bully me."
People aren't spending their time thinking about you and trying to be malicious towards you, that's paranoid thinking. Even if someone is teasing you, it doesn't mean they're bullying you. They could just be trying to be playful. Or maybe they are annoyed with you in that moment but you should just shrug it off and let things cool down. Stop spending so much time worrying about what other people are thinking about you. My dad told me when I was younger, "What other people think about you is none of your business," and that was a relief to me. Even if someone doesn't like you, you just say fuck it, and move on. Not everybody is going to like you, you can't change anything about that, but you can change how you treat other people.

"almost no one is playing my wads"
There's a small userbase on this website. Not everybody has time to play every WAD. And you've been putting out a lot of WADs. I've played one of the WADs and playtested one of your DBP maps. Look at it this way, I love 40oz's maps and I certainly don't play every single map he puts out. Sometimes if I get around to playing the latest DBP, a map of his will pop up and I get to play it. Sometimes I get the opportunity to playtest a map of his. Plenty of times I don't... Not everybody plays all of everybody else's stuff. Take a minute to turn this thinking around on yourself. I noticed you played and commented on that Ascent Into Hell WAD, that was awesome of you to take the time to do that. But I don't think I've noticed you play anyone else's WADs. I have, however, seen you bother to comment on multiple projects that you weren't going to play them. On one person's project, you even simply typed, "this looks bad sorry." How would you feel if somebody commented that on your project? I'm not saying you have to play other people's maps for them to play yours, I don't think we ought to have such transactional relationships with each other... But right away you should be able to see that since you yourself can't get around to most WADs, other people certainly can't either. Personally, I'd like to see you involved in more DBPs where you can get more immediate feedback on your maps. I'd be much more likely to playtest a single map of yours to give criticism rather than play a whole pack of your levels that haven't been playtested by anyone else besides yourself.

"ban... ban... ban..."
Let it go, dude. Constantly begging for other people to be banned, especially over perceived slights against your character, is not a good look. It doesn't make people want to be your friend. You know nothing about Doomworld, but parrot our complaints about how they lock threads and ban willy-nilly. Take a moment to reflect on how, if you actually had any bit of power over bans, you would be exactly the sort of ban-heavy moderators that we complain about. Give it up with the ban talk.

"he was posssessed by the demon"
This is imaginary drama created by yourself, none of that is true. There's no demons. I don't want to hear any more about demons.

"my dad says to me that he doesnt let me go to a therapy"
Everyone here has told you that's probably what you need, is professional help. If your dad is unwilling to send you to therapy, he needs to figure something else out for you. Unfortunately, he will probably just continue to neglect your needs, and you will continue to try and find therapy on a website dedicated to a thirty-year-old computer game. That's a terrible plan for yourself. Even if we are sometimes helpful, we can't be your support group 24/7.
I hesitate to say this next bit because I'm obviously not a professional and can't give a real diagnosis, and I'm not sure if me saying this will do more harm than good if you've never heard this before in your life, but you most likely are on the autism spectrum. That's fine, life is not over, you're not lesser than anybody else, everything will be okay. But it does mean that if you are, you will most likely require additional services for learning coping skills and how to adjust to society. If your father is unwilling to put you in therapy, or send you back to public school, he really ought to consider some sort of special education program for you. Again, I'm not a professional, perhaps I'm wrong, but that is my takeaway as someone who worked at a group home for five years with several autistic clients. That does not mean though that if you were indeed diagnosed with this, that I am in a position to help you. I'm not. An IRL program coordinator or behaviorist or therapist or something along those lines is what you would need.
Now don't just comment straight away. Walk away from the keyboard, and reflect for at least five minutes before replying. Maybe lie down and take some deep breaths if you're feeling flustered. You're okay, and remember that I like you and am trying to help you. Honestly most times you want to post something while feeling heated, you should just take a step back and relax and come back in ten minutes to decide if what you want to post is really worth posting. I've decided to practice the same exact thing. I often shit out posts that are obnoxious, or dull, or rude, or drama-baiting, that I would be better off not posting and just taking a break from the computer. We all make mistakes and say embarrassing things, the point is to not dwell on it and to learn from these mistakes so we can change our behavior and be better versions of ourselves going forward.

Fuck yeah man we almost made you type like a human. Good job, you're getting there, now you only need to figure out capital letters.

ook is that a joke now

Yeah, he's kidding you. You're obviously human so him implying you weren't a human is just him teasing. Kinda like he's saying you're an alien or something learning to communicate with human beings. It's a silly exaggeration of reality meant to surprise and amuse you. It's his way of being friendly.

By "like a human" I meant "properly". We say that in my language, sorry it kinda bled over

Hey mayhem, do you have a zip file with all of your work in it or something? I'd like to play your maps, but I'm not sure where to start without going through your post history. I'll give whatever I play a fair review, but I promise I won't make fun of you or anything. Thanks.

yes i ll make a zip for you (: here is the zip www.mediafire.com/file/0lhue0wialbh430/mayhemic_march_29_2022.zip/file and who deleted his account