AI Dungeon
Jul 14, 2020 20:42:03 GMT -5
Post by dn on Jul 14, 2020 20:42:03 GMT -5
You are Shitlips, a soldier trying to survive in a world filled with infected zombies everywhere. You have an automatic rifle and a grenade. Your unit lost a lot of men when the infection broke, but you've managed to keep the small town you're stationed near safe for now. You look over the town and think about what to do next. You are low on ammo, so you'll have to search the surrounding area for any survivors or supplies.
Scout out the nearby area for any survivors or supplies?
> You look for a toilet.
You quickly find a quiet place with no infected nearby and relieved yourself.
This is the part you dread, but need to do.
> You wipe ass.
You wipe your backside and give a final wipe.
You stand back as you look at your hands. You have blood all over you, but it's dry.
> You lick the blood.
You slowly lick your blood off your hands. You feel sick, but your survival instinct takes over.
You feel like you've taken a wrong turn somewhere, but you push the feeling away. You need to survive.
> You eat the turd.
You carefully open the 'turd' and take a bite.
As your teeth break through the turd, it breaks down in your mouth, causing you to retch.
> You play nethack.
You go and grab your copy of nethack, the board game. You quickly become engrossed in it as you try to forget about the rotting corpse just a few yards away from you.
> You examine corpse.
The corpse has no name or identification on it. You assume it was dead before you arrived.
You notice a large bulge in the pants and a legless torso. You quickly remember that survivors are often mutants.
> You examine bulge.
You carefully take the bulge in your pants, thinking it could be valuable. It turns out to be a slab of concrete.
You sit and examine the board game for a while, when you hear a noise.
> You listen carefully.
You stand quietly, waiting to see what the noise was. You swear you hear footsteps nearby.
You're about to call out, but decide to investigate instead.
> You ready rifle.
You raise your rifle, and begin slowly and carefully moving towards the source of the noise.
You slowly and quietly move through the store, before you find a man eating a can of tuna. He seems quite harmless.
> You see if there is any dolphin in the tuna.
The man seems quite friendly. You ask him if he has any food.
The man nods, and points to the far corner of the store. There is a large freezer, full of food.
> You throw a party.
You grab a few cans of beer, and begin opening them with your can opener. You didn't bring any booze with you, so you're going to have to settle for the cheap beer.
> You offer man beer.
You offer the man a can of beer, but he just stares at you. You give him a second can, and finally he accepts it.
> You ask man his name.
"Name?" the man says, almost sleepily.
"Your name," you say.
"Oh. Tom."
"It's nice to meet you, Tom."
> You raid freezer.
You look in the freezer, and find some frozen chicken and lamb, as well as some cans of food.
You grab three cans of food, and put them in your bag.
"Thanks," Tom says."
> You go looking for zombies.
You leave the store and begin looking around for zombies. You find one quickly, just two buildings down from the store. You begin slowly approaching it.
> You say "hello zombie"
You walk up to the zombie and say, "Hello." The zombie doesn't respond, and just continues walking. You feel like you're having a conversation with a statue."
> You shoot zombie in the dick.
You pull out your rifle, and shoot the zombie right in the junk. The zombie's hands go to its junk, and it stops walking.
> You pick up zombie's dick.
You grab the zombie's pecker and feel around for a second, finding nothing. You pull your hand back, and the zombie falls over.
> You take zombie's dick.
You reach down and grab the zombie's dong. It's a little bigger than your little sister's. You blush, and drop the zombie's member.
> You put zombie's dick in backpack.
You pick up the zombie and walk away from the area, heading towards a farmhouse that you've seen.
You open the backpack and put the zombie's member in it, out of sight.
> You is the zombie's dick still alive?
The zombie's dong is still flapping around, and making an audible buzzing sound.
You think to yourself, "This dildo might not be alive, but it sure looks it."
> You eat zombie's dick.
You're really hungry, and the thought of devouring the dead zombie's meat makes you salivate.
You look around, and see a nice garden over on your right.
> You go to the garden and have picnic.
You walk over to the garden and see a nice, ripe peach.
You take the peach from the tree and start eating it, and then throw the pit away.
> You eat zombie dick.
You hold the dead zombie's member in your hand, and begin to think it might taste OK.
You look around, and there are a few squirrels in the trees.
> You shoot squirrels, eat dick.
You take out your gun and shoot the two squirrels, and eat them.
You walk along, but it's getting dark. You know you need to find a place to sleep soon.
> You eat hand grenade.
You take off your jacket and grab the hand grenade. You pull the pin with your teeth, and throw it at a tree.
The grenade hits the tree, and you quickly run into the woods.
> You do a dance.
You pull out your knife and begin to dance. The duffel bag feels good in your hands. You move from one tree to the next, singing songs and poems in your head.
> You find more zombies.
You walk up to the three zombies and shoot them. They go down, and you grab their guns.
You walk ahead into the woods, and then stop. You hear something.
> You pick nose.
The smell is horrible. You take a deep breath, and put your hand in your pocket to grab some tissue.
You pull out a strange-looking gun.
> You what is the gun?
The gun looks like a huge flashlight, with a long, thin barrel. It's red and black, and it has what looks like a laser sight. It's completely silent.
> You shoot more squirrels with strange gun.
You point the strange gun at the nearest tree, and fire. The gun makes no noise, but the laser sight whirs to life, lighting up the tree in red. You shoot another tree, and then a third.
> You decide to assassinate zombie JFK.
You put the strange gun back in your pocket and begin to head towards the motorcade.
You're going to assassinate the great, noble, and honorable John F. Kennedy.
> You is JFK a zombie?
Yes, JFK is a zombie.
> You hide in bush.
You hide behind a tree and wait for the motorcade to pass.
Two military jeeps, a large boxy truck, and a motorcycle with a sidecar drive past.
> You shoot zombie JFK.
You take out your strange gun and aim it at JFK's head. You pull the trigger, and nothing happens. You try again, with the same result.
This gun is broken.
> You use rifle to shoot zombie JFK.
You grab the rifle from the motorcycle officer, and pull the trigger. You get a bad feeling in your stomach as the gun kicks back and hits you in the face, knocking you to the ground.
> You spit out teeth.
You quickly get up and run over to the motorcycle officer, who is lying on the ground with his eyes missing.
> You pick up eyes.
You pick up the man's eyes in your hands, and take off running.
The officer's eyes burn a hole in your skull, and every step is an agony.
> You are the officer's eyes evil?
The officer's eyes are evil.
In the distance, you see another military jeep coming down the road.
You try to blend in with the shadows, and hope it isn't you they're looking for.
> You is JFK dead?
The officer's eyes are still burning a hole in your brain, but you don't think they're burning the images into your brain so much as they're just burning the very idea of the person you are.
> You juggle with officer's eyes.
You juggle the officer's eyes in your hands, and then put them in your ears.
You hear a loud engine noise, and look up. A helicopter is flying towards you, out of control.
> You throw zombie penis at helicopter.
You chuck the zombie's wrinkled member at the helicopter.
The helicopter veers towards the trees, and you watch in awe as it smashes into the trunks with ease.
> You look out of ears.
You peer out of the ears, and see the helicopter crash to the ground. The helicopter explodes into a million pieces, and you feel a wave of nausea hit you.
You've survived the assassination attempt.
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Scout out the nearby area for any survivors or supplies?
> You look for a toilet.
You quickly find a quiet place with no infected nearby and relieved yourself.
This is the part you dread, but need to do.
> You wipe ass.
You wipe your backside and give a final wipe.
You stand back as you look at your hands. You have blood all over you, but it's dry.
> You lick the blood.
You slowly lick your blood off your hands. You feel sick, but your survival instinct takes over.
You feel like you've taken a wrong turn somewhere, but you push the feeling away. You need to survive.
> You eat the turd.
You carefully open the 'turd' and take a bite.
As your teeth break through the turd, it breaks down in your mouth, causing you to retch.
> You play nethack.
You go and grab your copy of nethack, the board game. You quickly become engrossed in it as you try to forget about the rotting corpse just a few yards away from you.
> You examine corpse.
The corpse has no name or identification on it. You assume it was dead before you arrived.
You notice a large bulge in the pants and a legless torso. You quickly remember that survivors are often mutants.
> You examine bulge.
You carefully take the bulge in your pants, thinking it could be valuable. It turns out to be a slab of concrete.
You sit and examine the board game for a while, when you hear a noise.
> You listen carefully.
You stand quietly, waiting to see what the noise was. You swear you hear footsteps nearby.
You're about to call out, but decide to investigate instead.
> You ready rifle.
You raise your rifle, and begin slowly and carefully moving towards the source of the noise.
You slowly and quietly move through the store, before you find a man eating a can of tuna. He seems quite harmless.
> You see if there is any dolphin in the tuna.
The man seems quite friendly. You ask him if he has any food.
The man nods, and points to the far corner of the store. There is a large freezer, full of food.
> You throw a party.
You grab a few cans of beer, and begin opening them with your can opener. You didn't bring any booze with you, so you're going to have to settle for the cheap beer.
> You offer man beer.
You offer the man a can of beer, but he just stares at you. You give him a second can, and finally he accepts it.
> You ask man his name.
"Name?" the man says, almost sleepily.
"Your name," you say.
"Oh. Tom."
"It's nice to meet you, Tom."
> You raid freezer.
You look in the freezer, and find some frozen chicken and lamb, as well as some cans of food.
You grab three cans of food, and put them in your bag.
"Thanks," Tom says."
> You go looking for zombies.
You leave the store and begin looking around for zombies. You find one quickly, just two buildings down from the store. You begin slowly approaching it.
> You say "hello zombie"
You walk up to the zombie and say, "Hello." The zombie doesn't respond, and just continues walking. You feel like you're having a conversation with a statue."
> You shoot zombie in the dick.
You pull out your rifle, and shoot the zombie right in the junk. The zombie's hands go to its junk, and it stops walking.
> You pick up zombie's dick.
You grab the zombie's pecker and feel around for a second, finding nothing. You pull your hand back, and the zombie falls over.
> You take zombie's dick.
You reach down and grab the zombie's dong. It's a little bigger than your little sister's. You blush, and drop the zombie's member.
> You put zombie's dick in backpack.
You pick up the zombie and walk away from the area, heading towards a farmhouse that you've seen.
You open the backpack and put the zombie's member in it, out of sight.
> You is the zombie's dick still alive?
The zombie's dong is still flapping around, and making an audible buzzing sound.
You think to yourself, "This dildo might not be alive, but it sure looks it."
> You eat zombie's dick.
You're really hungry, and the thought of devouring the dead zombie's meat makes you salivate.
You look around, and see a nice garden over on your right.
> You go to the garden and have picnic.
You walk over to the garden and see a nice, ripe peach.
You take the peach from the tree and start eating it, and then throw the pit away.
> You eat zombie dick.
You hold the dead zombie's member in your hand, and begin to think it might taste OK.
You look around, and there are a few squirrels in the trees.
> You shoot squirrels, eat dick.
You take out your gun and shoot the two squirrels, and eat them.
You walk along, but it's getting dark. You know you need to find a place to sleep soon.
> You eat hand grenade.
You take off your jacket and grab the hand grenade. You pull the pin with your teeth, and throw it at a tree.
The grenade hits the tree, and you quickly run into the woods.
> You do a dance.
You pull out your knife and begin to dance. The duffel bag feels good in your hands. You move from one tree to the next, singing songs and poems in your head.
> You find more zombies.
You walk up to the three zombies and shoot them. They go down, and you grab their guns.
You walk ahead into the woods, and then stop. You hear something.
> You pick nose.
The smell is horrible. You take a deep breath, and put your hand in your pocket to grab some tissue.
You pull out a strange-looking gun.
> You what is the gun?
The gun looks like a huge flashlight, with a long, thin barrel. It's red and black, and it has what looks like a laser sight. It's completely silent.
> You shoot more squirrels with strange gun.
You point the strange gun at the nearest tree, and fire. The gun makes no noise, but the laser sight whirs to life, lighting up the tree in red. You shoot another tree, and then a third.
> You decide to assassinate zombie JFK.
You put the strange gun back in your pocket and begin to head towards the motorcade.
You're going to assassinate the great, noble, and honorable John F. Kennedy.
> You is JFK a zombie?
Yes, JFK is a zombie.
> You hide in bush.
You hide behind a tree and wait for the motorcade to pass.
Two military jeeps, a large boxy truck, and a motorcycle with a sidecar drive past.
> You shoot zombie JFK.
You take out your strange gun and aim it at JFK's head. You pull the trigger, and nothing happens. You try again, with the same result.
This gun is broken.
> You use rifle to shoot zombie JFK.
You grab the rifle from the motorcycle officer, and pull the trigger. You get a bad feeling in your stomach as the gun kicks back and hits you in the face, knocking you to the ground.
> You spit out teeth.
You quickly get up and run over to the motorcycle officer, who is lying on the ground with his eyes missing.
> You pick up eyes.
You pick up the man's eyes in your hands, and take off running.
The officer's eyes burn a hole in your skull, and every step is an agony.
> You are the officer's eyes evil?
The officer's eyes are evil.
In the distance, you see another military jeep coming down the road.
You try to blend in with the shadows, and hope it isn't you they're looking for.
> You is JFK dead?
The officer's eyes are still burning a hole in your brain, but you don't think they're burning the images into your brain so much as they're just burning the very idea of the person you are.
> You juggle with officer's eyes.
You juggle the officer's eyes in your hands, and then put them in your ears.
You hear a loud engine noise, and look up. A helicopter is flying towards you, out of control.
> You throw zombie penis at helicopter.
You chuck the zombie's wrinkled member at the helicopter.
The helicopter veers towards the trees, and you watch in awe as it smashes into the trunks with ease.
> You look out of ears.
You peer out of the ears, and see the helicopter crash to the ground. The helicopter explodes into a million pieces, and you feel a wave of nausea hit you.
You've survived the assassination attempt.
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