BIG DICK NIGGA
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Major Arlene obsessed, 100% verified freakazoid. AKA bzzrak
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Post by BIG DICK NIGGA on Jun 5, 2020 12:06:41 GMT -5
Assalamu alaykum everybody! Have you ever felt physically incapable of doing anything useful?
This quarantine thing fried my brain entirely. At this point it's basically a kebab döner. I've been doing absolutely nothing but masturbate and listen to music all day every day since around April. 2 months at this point. One sixth of a year. I wasted 2 months of my youth jacking off and making one-man moshpits. Dear god I feel like such a failure when I look at it lol. I should be ruining my liver. I cooked myself something maybe 4 times during this whole period, bear in mind that I actually love cooking. Meanwhile uni started coming back to life and I'm way behind on literally everything uni-related and I literally can't seem to do anything about it. This probably sounds like lazy me whining as usual, but I've never felt like this. If I fail uni, I'm getting deported back home and my life will probably suck from then on. I have an exam from Legislation in 5 days (that I don't know shit about since this is a different effing country). Yet I don't seem to care. Basically yeah, my motivation to do anything is at its all-time low. Let alone any sort of creative or useful pursuits such as doom mapping or writing or drawing or READING A BOOK THAT I BORROWED 4 MONTHS AGO AND PROBABLY OWE A FORTUNE FOR IN LATE FEES ALREADY or TAKING A WALK or whatever.
Also my attention span is deep in the negative digits. I can't watch a youtube video in one sitting unless it's like 10 seconds. I watched an episode of this new anime that came out (a weeb friend put me on to it) and I spent 3 hours watching a 20 minute episode because I kept pausing every MINUTE just to do something else (jack off, make a one man moshpit or raid my poor fridge).
Phew, felt nice telling this to someone. Excuse all the whining but I don't really tell this stuff to people IRL, I had to get it out.
Anyway what can I do to restore myself to a more or less presentable person? Has anyone been in this situation before? For the record, I'm not depressed in the slightest, it's not it.
I wanna make some sort of mock up road map myself, but I have genuinely no idea how do I get out of this.
Any help is appreciated.
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40oz
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Post by 40oz on Jun 5, 2020 14:34:10 GMT -5
I'm living with two other people and out of the three of us, were all going through some sort of something, whether its motivation related or sticking to a routine or having some sort of creative outlet, were getting hit pretty hard by whatever it is.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2020 15:29:16 GMT -5
When you coom so much you become a coombrain. Let your stamina and mana regenerate then find your passions rekindling and steadily re-learn how to live again. Get yourself some fresh air. Reduce your distractions and filter your world so that it may be ever more perfect. Be kinder to your future self.
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dmdr
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Post by dmdr on Jun 5, 2020 20:06:07 GMT -5
Go outside and get some exercise. Don't make using the computer, esp. the internet, the first thing you do in the morning. Talk to people and esp. girls, don't become weird and isolated like eg. me. I know you're going to ask how to motivate yourself to do those things and I don't know, but you obviously want to change your lifestyle so at least you'll be motivated to figure it out for yourself.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2020 23:20:42 GMT -5
I have a lot of shit I can't get out of myself either, by this point if I had a gun I would have killed myself already.
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BIG DICK NIGGA
this post is a lie about my bodily proportions
Major Arlene obsessed, 100% verified freakazoid. AKA bzzrak
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Post by BIG DICK NIGGA on Jun 6, 2020 7:56:26 GMT -5
When you coom so much you become a coombrain. You are sadly right. I'm big on nofap myself but it's known that you can't do nofap if you're idle a lot of the time. Go outside and get some exercise. Doing some stretches and pushups rn and will try to get myself to take a walk Don't make using the computer, esp. the internet, the first thing you do in the morning. Fuck, got me there. I'll work on this. Talk to people and esp. girls, don't become weird and isolated like eg. me. Doing my best lol. This isolation actually got me acting really weird again, I guess I forgot how to participate in society a bit. I'm trying doe. All good advice fellas, and most importantly it's all really simple and unambiguous. 40oz @vigilantdoomer hang in there
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2020 8:04:03 GMT -5
Well, I think a good start will be to write down (on a sheet of paper, not an electronic device) all the matters you are expected to do. Arrange them, sort them by importance and time they'll likely take you to deal with. Make a schedule for yourself to do these things and set alarm clocks on your phone for each of them, for example, on Sunday you get up at 9am, do a small physical exercise, then make or just eat your breakfast. From ten to say midday you prepare for the exam, then you have a free hour to spend in your preferred ways, then it's again time to work, and so on. Make a schedule for yourself for an upcoming week, and what is important, try to stick to it strictly. That means not only 'do not extend your leisure time', but also 'do not work excessively'. Next week you can change the schedule a bit. What is also very important is your sleeping time, I bet you always sit beyond midnight. Set a time for yourself like 10:30pm around which you should go to bed, and over time you'll feel a little bit better. You also say that you're beating off a lot. What's the frequency you're talking about; does it really provide you any pleasure at this point? As for the exams and other formal procedures, it is really very easy for a young person to get distracted from things that society wants you to do (I know this as I am currently a student myself, nearly of your age). It is even much easier now, during the quarantine, when it seems that everyone just sits idle in their homes. Well, you just don't know how fast will the situation return to 'normal'. E.g., the news say that the Czech Republic has opened some of its borders yesterday. If you have a large list of things to do, this may be a good time to start doing them actually. You might have very little motivation for them, you might think that you won't accomplish them all anyway, so why bother; but bear in mind that it is usually better to, please pardon my French, stand knee-deep in shit than to be fully covered in it. If you make a slight effort now, you'll simply have more choices in the future.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2020 11:58:38 GMT -5
I was in a similar place. Many young men have very similar problems so you are not alone. What worked for me was I realized I had turned 25 and 30 was fast approaching. From about 22-23 something strange will happen and it will seem like time accelerates. I am 28 but it feels like I was 23 only 2.5 years ago. Quite freaky. I needed to put my life in order and I decided I needed to do this the right way. I started learning 3D modeling on my own from absolute scratch and fast-forward two and a half years, I got a job at the biggest outsourcing company in my country. All you need to do create in your mind a mental image of the absolute biggest loser you can become. You know: drunk, fat, pot-smoking everyday, no girlfriend, no future, no life and jacking off to furry porn. Then constantly remind yourself that you must not ever become like that. You need to practice self-control, perseverance and strive for quality, preferably in a domain you love. In short, you need to take control of your life because if you don't it will take control of you.
Don't listen to shit advice like "you are perfect the way you are". Stop reading and posting shit "self-depricating" memes like "I am so useless..." "I am so lazy that...". Those are just meaningless strings of words that will keep you weak and miserable. YOU are the one in control of your life and if you are not, you deserve every bit of misfortune coming your way.
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Post by thundercunt on Jun 6, 2020 12:37:29 GMT -5
don't smoke weed
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Justince
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Post by Justince on Jun 7, 2020 10:17:39 GMT -5
Normally I don't advocate for medication but shit man, maybe start a Valium regimen.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2020 11:55:03 GMT -5
Normally I don't advocate for medication but shit man, maybe start a Valium regimen. Careful with that shit. It can really fuck you up.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2020 12:03:08 GMT -5
I found that Nike's "Just do it" is surprisingly helpful in this kind of situations. You can spend months trying to figure out what is fucking with your brain, whining about lack of motivation, reading psychology books, asking for advice, hoping that someone will offer a solution, yada yada yada. Or you can realise that there are no magic tricks here and the only solution is to just start getting shit done. The only way to do something is to get up and do it.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2020 12:10:41 GMT -5
I found that Nike's "Just do it" is surprisingly helpful in this kind of situations. You can spend months trying to figure out what is fucking with your brain, whining about lack of motivation, reading psychology books, asking for advice, hoping that someone will offer a solution, yada yada yada. Or you can realise that there are no magic tricks here and the only solution is to just start getting shit done. The only way to do something is to get up and do it. That and be terrified of what a big loser you'll be at 30 if you don't do what you are supposed to do.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2020 12:13:00 GMT -5
Vacuum out all the dust around you. Cleanliness is next to godliness as it's said.
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Post by DOEL on Jun 10, 2020 1:31:52 GMT -5
Do things you like and create habits out of them, then set goals involving those things.
Oooor you can use drugs to get some motivation, particularly those that target dopamine. Stimulants such as methylphenidate, amphetamine, lisdexamfetamine, methamphetamine will almost certainly do the trick.
For me some depressants give me motivation, like phenibut, benzodiazepines such as alprazolam and clonazepam, or opioids such as kratom (more of a "stimulant"), hydrocodone, and diacetylmorphine.
For a full "reset" try a hallucinogen like LSD, psilocybin, or DMT. There's also good 'ole cannabis for a lighter touch.
Drugs aren't the answer but they can help kick start productive habits, the problem is maintaining those habits. It's true what they say, the first steps on a journey (in our case a habit) are the most difficult.
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Post by optimus on Jun 27, 2020 6:37:44 GMT -5
Maybe it's too late to reply (I read the OP long time ago) but I had some thoughts on this.
The social isolation definitely affected most of us. I had the idea that since I am pretty much introvert and can even be social distant/anxious at work (even if it involves programming, but you know the small social interactions at the coffee machine or wherever, awkward),. I thought then "Yeyyy! This gonna be like my dream!!!".
NOPE. First thing I noticed, I started gaining weight. I am already obese and was struggling to lose for years, sometimes maintaining, dropping -3, adding +3,. like yoyo. At least I wasn't gaining more than I have. Now I went +6 from my average in these few months. Mind you, I wasn't even buying fast food. I haven't changed my habits considering avoiding fast food. I was having regular food, some healthy but some relatively unhealthy, and also unfortunately snacks from those packaged you can find in stores and consumed easily. The most important reason though wasn't even what I was consuming, but the fact that because I am 24 hours at home, I will easily get bored and go to the fridge (maybe when I feel uneasy or anxious about anything or need to have pleasure again) every hour or so. How a change in the environment affects so much..
Secondly, I started getting bored of it. Even as an introvert I didn't close myself at home all time, I would make some walk in the city or something, go to a local restaurant or cafeteria. That's a change of scenery and away from my PC. Well, I can do it now in UK, have a walk. But since my favorite places are closed or restricted, I am not as motivated much. What motivated me on Saturdays is to visit another supermarket to buy stuff, with different products than the local. Also, even just walking to my work would be a positive that I miss now, also having one lunch and that's it (can't just fill the workplace fridge with tons of stuff, I only have my daily meal there), would positively contribute to overall life. There is an argument for working from home (and I would support it and like if this is flexible at least) but now I realised I miss some positive things from having to go to an office.
Your post made me think something on Coombrain, Nofap, etc. I might be fapping more these days and didn't realised it. But of course! If half of the day you are at your regular work, you won't be able to even fap for half of your day. So there are only 8 hours left per day where you have to fight your vices. Even if you don't resist it and not a fan of nofap, you will still fap less times. I am not a fan of the nofap (I don't like the absolute of their views and the preachy ways) but I was thinking that there is something there. Generally speaking there are a lot of activities that are dopaminogenic (from fapping, to eating, video games, checking social media, etc) and too much of it will affect the levels of serotonine negatively, resulting in being more depressed, lazy, less productive, etc. I was reading the book The Hacking of the American Mind by Robert Lustig and he talks all about that (I don't think he mentions nofap though (maybe he does porn, I don't remember), but generally all these pleasurable activities we are bombarded with, that have a negative effect at the end on our well being).
One thing that was also affected was my creativity, I had plans for more coding project through these months (Optidoom 3DO, hacking a 3DO emulator, etc) and I really can't bring myself to do anything. I am in very low productivity on my own creative hobbies for at least 2 months. But that could be also because I generally fucked my dopamine with all these vices if you stay at home 24 hours and have not much to do. It's good that I noticed it now. But it's hard to get out of it, because you tell to yourself "This is it, you have to change mister" and yourself deep in pleasures is like "LALALALALALALA, I am not listening to you". It's a vicious circle.
I am starting with a concept I thought. It's hard to discipline myself every fucking day (it backfires the LALALALALA person), so in the same way there exists Intermittent Fasting, I am doing an extension concept I call Intermittent Discipline. 2 days of the week at least, involving intermittent fasting of course (small breakfast/lunch, no dinner, zero snacks in between) but also zero twitter/social media at that day, zero fapping, trying to do some things I normally don't like (cleaning dishes/house), any other vices I can see. The next days you are free. And yes, the criticism is that the next days as a reaction you might overeat, overfap, etc... it happens. But a think noticed is that the discipline day will make more conscious of how much control the vices have over the next days. I will see the dark side of my vices easier. Also,. I kinda added an extra rule for fapping. At the normal days no more than once. If I did once, that's it for the day. I also try to instil "Just code/do creative hobbies half/one hour instead of zero" on regular days. On my discipline day it tries to be "Only creative work, zero gaming if possible".
It's a good idea. Let's see how it goes, because this isolation really affected me in ways I wouldn't expect. It was again a day I had enough. You can try that too, if you don't want to negatively overreact with pushing too much against your vices every day, at least you can test with 1 or 2 days per week of planned discipline, slowly slowly learn to be more productive and less dopaminoholic.
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Justince
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Post by Justince on Jun 27, 2020 11:44:19 GMT -5
Wow...well at the very least you recognize you have some major issues with discipline. I'm starting to wonder if a society with mandatory military service really might be a good idea. I'd recommend making a strict daily schedule where all your tasks and extra activities are planned out for the day, even if in small, half hour increments. That way you can ensure you won't get bored of a task and it won't leave room for your hand to travel down your pants. Still boggles my fucking mind some people have to be told not to jerk off all the time.
Fortunately you can still go for your walk, maybe take up a new activity that requires quiet or contemplation like bird watching.
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Lobo
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Post by Lobo on Jun 27, 2020 15:39:16 GMT -5
Don't listen to shit advice like "you are perfect the way you are". Stop reading and posting shit "self-depricating" memes like "I am so useless..." "I am so lazy that...". Those are just meaningless strings of words that will keep you weak and miserable. YOU are the one in control of your life and if you are not, you deserve every bit of misfortune coming your way. This. Never self-depricate. In life, sooner or later other people will inevitable go for your weak spots: don't help them out by doing the work for them! Hell, I'd even say do the opposite and have irrational self-confidence. And if there's something you really don't like about yourself then work on that. Do you. Nothing wrong with a bit of self-interest. But the most important point here is this: vulnerability is NEVER strength. The whole "get in touch with your feminine side" or "let it all out" is bullshit. Sure, you're gonna want to cry sometimes but keep that shit behind closed doors, or cry to your dog if you have one. There was a time when it was good character to be able to control your emotions: now I see people posting "react to..." videos on fucking Youtube for literally the whole planet to see them crying because Luke Skywalker died or whatever! And you know what? Even the people who tell you to get in touch with your emotions publicly will be secretly apalled if you actually do.
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Post by joe-ilya on Jun 28, 2020 1:06:43 GMT -5
Self-deprecation can be a healthy way to understand yourself and your mistakes, or you'll smash your head on the same wall. It's not about vulnerability, it's about invulnerability, coming out of the closet and not getting all bitchy when called out is invulnerability, but if you're going to cry because somebody called you a fag or something; then maybe you shouldn't have come out in the first place, that's like digging a ditch for yourself and crying for falling in. Therefore coming out is not for everyone.
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Lobo
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Post by Lobo on Jun 28, 2020 1:19:29 GMT -5
There's a big difference between "I am a worthless piece of shit" and "I need to up my game". The first is the path to suicide and the second to self-improvement. Self-deprecation is the first step on path number one.
Or to put it another way, only one of them is motivational.
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Post by joe-ilya on Jun 28, 2020 2:11:41 GMT -5
Self-deprecation can be a healthy way to understand yourself and your mistakes
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Lobo
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Post by Lobo on Jun 28, 2020 2:45:33 GMT -5
Not disagreeing with you Joe, everyone needs to know there own limits and weaknesses.
Just semantics: What you're describing, I would call it "introspection"😀
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 28, 2020 2:54:22 GMT -5
joe-ilya, I disagree with the idea of self-deprecation being healthy. The healthy way would be to acknowledge one's own mistakes in rational way, without feeling inferior. It may be that judging oneself is a stage that needs to be passed before such an ability is developed, or is the requisite for developing such an ability in first place, but it should be merely a stage then. Also with regards to "smash your head on the same wall" - it is indeed important to look at the root of one's own mistake, i.e. "why did I do that, that was wrong/unwise/left me/others in danger/caused me/others suffering?" I believe that all mistakes are never random but are causally (through a chain of cause-and-effect) related to one's thoughts, beliefs, etc. The specific situation one finds themselves in is a consequence of a mistake way deep in one own head, and one better find it, otherwise the same mistake may manifest in some very different - and on the surface, unrelated - situations. The inspiration for my view on this may have come from the fact that the "material implication" (->) operator in binary logic does not allow to derive falsehood (0) from truthhood (1), the value of "1 -> 0" is 0. Thus, if one is not satisfied with one's own actions, one must understand it resulted from some incorrect axiom one helds as true in his head, where it is, in fact, false. I shall, perhaps, elaborate on it (tracing the mistake back from one's actions to one's thoughts) later with specific examples from my life. But I should at least say that my past behaviour is almost never a mystery to me, I can really well recall the reasoning behind every action I did (or why I didn't do something). To the extent it aids me in recalling events of my life, since if I know two of the following three : "situation", "my modus operandi" (for lack of better word), "my actions" - I can always derive the missing third, and a lot of neighbouring events get recalled (or can be placed the exact date) as the result (that otherwise wouldn't be recalled). Also, I've come across the idea that "one should never blame others but should only blame oneself", but I would opt out of blaming anyone entirely (since blaming is a form of judgement), except when useful rhetorically (in that case, blaming others is not off limits). One should not waste time feeling guilt and/or blaming oneself, the whole duty one has is the following: - realize that one found himself in undesirable situation (whether the situation is undesirable because of direct consequences to oneself, or because the consequences for other individuals are at odds with something the person wanted to achieve, even if no direct consequences to oneself happened) - realize how one have arrived in this situation in first place, and what needs to be done to avoid arriving in it in the future - realize how one deals with this present situation: what needs to be done to address the present situation, what can be done (for example, to pursue the original objective) given one has found oneself in a specific situation and not some other they wanted to find themselves in. Sometimes (not always) there may be useful aspects to the situation that really change how the objective is approached. Also it should be noted that in many cases coming out is not necessary, except to repair the damage one has done if one feels they are obligated to do so. I usually keep the results of my introspection to myself, unless I could benefit from assistance of other people. Not that opportunities to actually share the result of such introspection present themselves often - they clearly don't. Lobo, "Vulnerability is never strength" - agreed, the only vulnerability one should show to others is the one he doesn't actually have. However, Hell, I'd even say do the opposite and have irrational self-confidence. I can't agree with that. (Although if one SHOWS irrational self-confidence outwardly - while being inwardly self-honest - it may be a valid tactic in some circumstances. And invalids still, in some others). From my experience, this can lead to delusion of attainment, when one finds a way to support one's own ginormous ego regardless of their persitent failures to actually effect the world around them. On the contrary, having to earn one's worth in one's own eyes may be a good motivator. In fact, one of the strongest motivation is to demolish your identity (the parts that are built on some past actions that are history, especially ephemeral ones such as "I never drank alcohol in my life, and feel superior to those who did" - I've met people who really believe this) and then strive to build a new one, attainable only through new and necessary external achievements (athletic, academic or career ones). Of course, this is risky (one may start to seek validation from other people - so don't fall into this trap), but such a motivation trumps all other kinds. Still, motivation alone is not enough to succeed. It may be that we (the participants in this conversation) are playing hockey with words, though - trying to put some wordless insights (born from experience) into a abstract wordy form, but the result is lossy compression and broken telephone (chinese whispers game). (As the words used happen to be a poor approximation of the concepts used semi-unconsciously) Ah, and almost forgot: with regards to dopamine and the rest, I've once come across the study that dopamine is produced not by every successful action, but only when the reward was unexpected(?) and that science holds this view for a while already. This was not how I imagined it to be (I had my own assumptions about when dopamine is produced and what it does). So maybe it's best to acknowledge that one does not as of yet how to correctly correlate the motivation with chemistry - the gap between mental and physical remains there. Motivation problems are mental quest, and for now we'll have to do with mental means then, relying on the personal experience for discerning between what works and what doesn't.
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Lobo
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Post by Lobo on Jun 28, 2020 15:27:33 GMT -5
It is difficult to write this stuff in a way which is coherent and understandable to others. Doesn't help that I'm translating to english either😉
One of the few useful things that those selfhelp positive-thinking speakers say is the "fake it till you make it" mentality, which was were I was going with the irrational self confidence thing. I automatically assume that the reader of my post knows I'm talking about a temporary state and basically just as a public face to wear. But as was pointed out to me here, it was not interpreted that way. Which in retrospect is obviously normal since you guys aren't reading my mind, just what I write😀 I'll try to be more explicit in the future.
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Post by optimus on Jun 29, 2020 10:35:11 GMT -5
I'm starting to wonder if a society with mandatory military service really might be a good idea. I'd recommend making a strict daily schedule where all your tasks and extra activities are planned out for the day, even if in small, half hour increments. That way you can ensure you won't get bored of a task and it won't leave room for your hand to travel down your pants. Still boggles my fucking mind some people have to be told not to jerk off all the time. Well, I don't think mandatory military service would make much difference on every individual. I am actually originally from a country that has mandatory military service and I went through it. It didn't change me. I think it depends on every individual, it's many more factors and some of it is simply personality traits. If mandatory military service would radically change everyone, even those with the worse vices, then certain countries would have armies of Jockos. But I don't see it. There are less conscientious and more conscientious people in every country, there are the lazies and the crazies everywhere. One single thing is not the solution for all.
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