Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2018 22:04:47 GMT -5
Note: another retarded manifesto inbound, apologies in advance.
I've always wanted to talk about things I like, things I do and things I care about with people I know, I want to have a long talk with people about my hobbies and passions. I am often a very quiet person, don't really talk much, however when given the chance I can talk you to death over something if people are willing to listen...
Which is where a problem arises, nobody I know gives a flying fuck about my shit.
I'm always ready to listen, I'm always paying attention, I fucking care, I mean I know so much about anime I'll never watch that I don't like because I give a shit about others interests (I could tell you all about JoJo's Bizarre Adventure despite never actually seeing an episode), I have an uncomfortable amount of knowledge on Kpop (specifically BTS) despite the fact I fucking hate pop, I know so much about cars and car culture despite the fact I don't drive and see cars as nought but tools to get from A to B, I despise most political discussion yet get roped in all the fucking time.
I know these things because people love them and want to talk about them, they are passionate and I respect that so I listen, I take interest, I take on board what they say and actually attempt to understand their views and thoughts, I want them to be able to talk about that shit because it's so good to do so.
Yet, when I want to talk about my bullshit no fucker listens, nobody cares, hell people even shut me down and interrupt me just to stop me. I wouldn't even care if the people doing this weren't my friends, I never bring this up to them because I hate conflict (infact I'm usually the peacekeeper irl) but it upsets me so much that nobody cares, my language my not suggest it but I'm not even pissed off about it, I'm just upset.
So I've began wondering, what is the reason behind it? I've sat there and hypothesized that it is actually because I'm so fucking boring, my interests are so niche, specific and boring that it enters the holy ground of literally 0 outside appeal. This is the only thing I can come up with, it can't be their fault because I know they are good, well intentioned, solid people who wouldn't go out of their way to fuck me, so it's got to be me.
I've taken to just not talking about things I like, I know it sucks but whatever I'll just suck it up and stick to forums... Which are also just as bad if not worse for me, the only forums I use are Doomworld, this one and (once in a blue moon) Halo Waypoint.
Evidently I like it here, I'm most comfortable here, it's just us shootin the shit here, nice environment, good people. Doomworld now just feels somewhat like an unwelcoming hostile environment due to the constant screaming at each other most opinion threads devolve into so I keep a close filter on how/what I talk about there. And Halo Waypoint is... Do I really need to talk about that?
So yeah, what a god damn shitshow of another mrthejoshmon spastic manifesto, can't wait to post my next one hanging from the light fixture!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2018 0:43:48 GMT -5
It's all good josh bro, nobody likes my shit either... the kicker is when they do, I find that I can't stand talking to people about the kind of things I like because it seems like the other person is a plain weirdo for talking about that kind of shit haha... maybe we should talk!
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agent6
Doomer
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Post by agent6 on May 16, 2018 2:47:42 GMT -5
Yeah, I've been going through the same thing as well.
Well ok, some of my interests aren't exactly what they'd call "normal", but I've learned to keep them to myself. Not only that they couldn't care less but they'd think I'm weird or creepy (which, I might add, happens without bringing any of them up sometimes). So for everyday life I usually just avoid them and only talk more open to a select few.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2018 3:54:24 GMT -5
So I've began wondering, what is the reason behind it? I've sat there and hypothesized that it is actually because I'm so fucking boring, my interests are so niche, specific and boring that it enters the holy ground of literally 0 outside appeal. This is the only thing I can come up with, it can't be their fault because I know they are good, well intentioned, solid people who wouldn't go out of their way to fuck me, so it's got to be me. To be blunt, you're thinking about this all wrong. The average person is stupid, the fact that many of them find interesting things uninteresting should be no surprise. It doesn't mean you're somehow defective, nor are they for being into the stupid shit they're into. The average person finds a lot of fascinating and important shit to be boring - In everyday life, coming across someone willing to listen to or talk about scientific discoveries and advancements throughout the years (to pick a random example) is rare despite the fact that life as we now know it was contingent upon said discoveries. The average schlub just wants something that caters to the most basic primal senses and really, there's nothing wrong with that. Regardless of the topic, like-minded people must be sought out, unless everything you like is just whatever happens to be trending. Sometimes, the fact that YOU like the things you like has to be enough in itself. Finding others to share that appreciation with has to be seen as icing on the cake, or else you'll constantly be let down. Cynicism generally helps. It may sound horrible at first, but it's a mantra I swear by - Always aim high, but expect shit so that when you get shit, you aren't let down because you were expecting it anyway, and when you don't get shit, it feels like a lovely, refreshing bonus. FWIW, I tend to enjoy reading your posts. I don't want you to be left with the misconception that no one is listening or that no one cares.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2018 6:13:24 GMT -5
Wait, are we sure that it's a good idea to listen to stuff you're not interested in? I guess to some extent you want to let your friends express themselves, and that way you might even learn something fascinating about topics you never looked into. But if you constantly find yourself having to hear them talk about things you don't care about, I think something must be done. It sounds like people are using you as a mental dump.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2018 6:49:50 GMT -5
Out of curiousity josh, what are the interests you try to talk about that get you shut down? You’re not torturing poor unsuspecting souls with the Doom now, are you?
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40oz
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Post by 40oz on May 16, 2018 7:14:18 GMT -5
It's all good josh bro, nobody likes my shit either... What shit???
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Post by Olroda on May 16, 2018 7:43:54 GMT -5
when I want to talk about my bullshit no fucker listens, nobody cares, hell people even shut me down and interrupt me just to stop me. So... Seconding what the Aussie said. What are you interested in then? Stamps? Bird watching? Amateur radio? Are you currently wearing a brown woolen sweater? Are you bald? If you answer YES to any of that, you probably just have a boring personality. I'm just joking with you, and I can certainly relate to what you are saying. Even though I agree with you that part of being a good friend is taking an interest in what your friends are interested in, it seems to me as if you haven't found the correct audience for what you would like to talk about. For example, discussing doom stuff with the uninitiated isn't something I'd recommend.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2018 7:46:13 GMT -5
Interesting responses, a lot to think about actually. Out of curiousity josh, what are the interests you try to talk about that get you shut down? You’re not torturing poor unsuspecting souls with the Doom now, are you? It's not just that, no. In fact I make it a point to not mention Doom as people literally don't care. It's quite literally anything I talk about, my circle of people are obviously nerdy "gamer" types and have no problem talking about what music they are in to, what games they play/are playing, what dumb YouTube channels they watch and what they find funny. However, even when in discussions about, for example, music we like, I have been shut down immediately and told brazenly to shut up because they do not want to hear it because my preference is "boring" or because "it sounds terrible". It's even worse when humour us brought into it, nobody wants to see what I find funny (despite being "the funny guy") because "it sounds terrible" right before they then subject me to fucking insufferable Last Week Tonight skits and then get antsy when I say that was shit because "I am wrong and have bad taste". Yes, those were actually said to me by my supposed best friend, come to think of it he's the worst one for it.
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40oz
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Post by 40oz on May 16, 2018 9:30:58 GMT -5
I didn't know I liked black metal until agent6 started posting in his Chamber of Infernal Pleasures thread. I also didn't know a fuck about dwarf fortress, nor did I ever guess it would be anything of interest to me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you talk about something enough (with optimism) people will eventually start to care about it in the same way you do. The optimism is important. Talk about something you like in more in a "YOU GUYS NEED TO SEE THIS" kind of way and less in a "I hope I'm not bothering you with this" kind of way.
It sounds obnoxious, but it seems like competing for attention is really what social skills boils down to these days.
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BattleKorbi
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Post by BattleKorbi on May 16, 2018 9:55:12 GMT -5
My guess is that most of the things one wants to talk about depend on a lot of factors: whenever the listener is in the mood for this shit, whenever it relates to the current situation at hand, what is the age and "orientation" (just any kind, not only political) is the listener in question... For instance, I can ramble on and on about wh40k or about JJBA with this dude I know on the internet, but I am certain my mother would recoil from talking about that shit and I would enter into deeper shit ("WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN STUPID STUFF LIKE THAT WHEN YOU HAVE EXAMS?!?!?!"). My irl friends, most of them are catching on trends, like netflix shows, movies, and in general, seems like the latest and most mainstream stuff. That might be the result of me not knowing them well. Still, I have yet to meet anyone who has the same amount of interest in wh40k and JJBA like I do. Uhh, so basically, I dunno, give your audience a check, see what taps their strings, I dunno, then from there you might get them to listen to shit you care about and "drag them into fandom hell" EDIT: Oh yeah, it helps if you yourself can get interested in the mainstream stuff, in order to find some platform of discussion. For instance, I dunno, you might get a "Game of Thrones" fan into your favorite show or game if you can help them visualize a concept they like being expanded in your show/game that they feel it wasn't explored enough in "Game of Thrones" (I am talking from my ainis here, never seen "Game of Thrones" in my life). I think I used to do this to my friends in high school, like "Hey, I know you liked [X], and you know, you said that [X] didn't really feel alright in the [Y] department, well I thought you might give [Z] a try, since it covers the [Y] topic well and I know you would enjoy it". This was mostly the case with music, like, X being a band, Y being an instrument or a singer, and Z being another band that does Y better
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TOS
You're trying to say you like DOS better than me, right?
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Post by TOS on May 16, 2018 10:32:32 GMT -5
This is why, while it may surprise you, in real life I am pretty quiet. Most people annoy me just by existing it seems, so I don't even have a desire to share my interests with them. Nobody cares about my music, political views, or that I go to the gym. And why should they? Don't let it bring you down, dude. Just keep doing your thing.
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agent6
Doomer
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Post by agent6 on May 16, 2018 10:58:51 GMT -5
I didn't know I liked black metal until agent6 started posting in his Chamber of Infernal Pleasures thread. I also didn't know a fuck about dwarf fortress, nor did I ever guess it would be anything of interest to me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you talk about something enough (with optimism) people will eventually start to care about it in the same way you do. The optimism is important. Talk about something you like in more in a "YOU GUYS NEED TO SEE THIS" kind of way and less in a "I hope I'm not bothering you with this" kind of way. It sounds obnoxious, but it seems like competing for attention is really what social skills boils down to these days. Eeeeeeeeeeee so all these topic views weren't for nothing or just simple curiosity <3 . But I have to kinda disagree. It's never a good idea to bother people with anything, regardless of how you introduce them to the said thing. If they make it clear they're not interested from the very first time you show them something new, then so be it. Keeping something only to yourself because it's unappreciated by someone else can really suck sometimes, but I think it's ultimately the best option.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2018 16:14:44 GMT -5
I'm talking more about physically speaking to people about interests/hobbies.
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40oz
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Post by 40oz on May 17, 2018 7:36:04 GMT -5
But I have to kinda disagree. It's never a good idea to bother people with anything, regardless of how you introduce them to the said thing. If they make it clear they're not interested from the very first time you show them something new, then so be it. Keeping something only to yourself because it's unappreciated by someone else can really suck sometimes, but I think it's ultimately the best option. You're wrong. I'm gonna keep nagging you until you change your mind
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agent6
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Post by agent6 on May 17, 2018 7:46:32 GMT -5
But I have to kinda disagree. It's never a good idea to bother people with anything, regardless of how you introduce them to the said thing. If they make it clear they're not interested from the very first time you show them something new, then so be it. Keeping something only to yourself because it's unappreciated by someone else can really suck sometimes, but I think it's ultimately the best option. You're wrong. I'm gonna keep nagging you until you change your mind xdd. Very well, now go check my music topic, got some new good stuff for ya .
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